


Lovesick

by Theonewhosawitall



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Caretaking, Cooking, Declarations Of Love, Family Fluff, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Medication, Sick Character, Sick Steve, Sickfic, Soup, Unresolved mother issues, Vomiting, parenting, radiation, some opinions on ducktales
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:47:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25543117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theonewhosawitall/pseuds/Theonewhosawitall
Summary: Rachel and Grace have a spa weekend booked. A little girls only weekend. It's only threatened by Charlie getting sick. Danny's apartment has mould, which is no good for a sick kid and it looks like they might have to cancel.Fortunately Steve is more than willing to take Charlie and Danny in for the weekend. It will give him time to bond with Danny.At least it would if Steve didn't immediately catch whatever Charlie has.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 26
Kudos: 162





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The timeline is a bit all over the place in this fic but Charlie is still fairly young and Steve has been exposed to radiation.

"You don't have to do this y'know," Danny said.

Steve frowned at him, "I don't have to do what?"

"I can go back to my apartment and Charlie can stay with Rachel if we're going to get under your feet-"

"No, hey, c'mon, no! Your apartment is awful, you can't take him back there, not when he's sick. And you can't ruin the girls' weekend-"

"Rachel said she and Grace can get a refund."

"So Grace gives up a whole spa weekend so she can help her mother take care of her baby brother and risk getting sick too? No, c'mon man, this is fine. You're more than welcome here."

Danny was very grateful to Steve for this. Grace had been looking forward to this weekend for ages (which Danny was miffed about too. Of all the weekends Rachel could have picked she had to take his!) and they had been worried about having to cancel when Charlie started running a fever. Danny would have taken Charlie back to his own apartment, but the recent renovations had caused drainage issues and now mould was growing on the damp on the ceiling. Even if he was willing to keep living there while waiting for them to fix it, he was not willing to bring a sick child into the apartment with him. That was an unnecessary risk to his health. 

"Besides, if you're staying here I'll be here to help. We can tag team," Steve said.

Steve was looking forward to seeing the caring side of Danny again. He caught glimpses of it at work or when they hung out with Grace, but to actually see it for a full weekend was exciting to him. He liked that side of Danny. And this time he didn't have to get shot to witness it.

Rachel honked the car horn to let them know she had arrived. Danny peered through the blinds to check that it was them. Rachel pulled up outside of the house. He could see Grace in the front seat. She looked eager to get out of there. Danny had to admit that it hurt a little to see it. 

"Last chance to back out," he warned.

Steve gave him a pointed smirk as he opened the front door and headed out to greet them.

"Aloha Rach," he waved as he approached. 

Rachel smiled, "Well aloha Steven."

Even though she had been on the island for years now, the words felt foreign in her accent. It was too posh, too tight to sound right. But it was still funny to hear her try, and he appreciated that. Steve reached out to pull her into a hug and kissed her on the cheek as he did. Danny felt a small spark of jealousy that died as soon as it rose. He had nothing to be jealous over, but that protective streak was always there. Part of him wasn't certain which of them he felt more possessive of though. 

"Thank you for this, we really appreciate it. You didn't have to," Rachel began. 

"Don't mention it, I'm happy to," Steve interrupted. He leaned down to the window to wave at Grace. "Hey Gracie! Excited for the weekend?"

"Super excited Uncle Steve," Grace grinned. 

There was an urgency behind her eyes that screamed that she wanted to leave now. To get on their way and get rid of the sick kid weighing them down so they could start enjoying themselves. He may have been her brother but he was also the only thing standing between her and an all inclusive weekend break.

"Super excited huh? That's great," Steve said.

"Mind your head honey," Rachel said gently to Charlie.

Charlie groaned as Rachel helped him to peel himself out of the back seat. He pulled his blanket tighter around him and winced at the bright light of the sun. Danny laid a hand on his head to guide him into a hug. Charlie was too weak and tired to fight it. He bumped into his father's stomach like he was a bumper car hitting into the rubber stopper.

"Aw hey buddy. You’re not feeling great huh?" Danny cooed.

Charlie grumbled. Danny laid a hand on his head sympathetically. 

"I'll grab his bag," Steve said. 

Steve grabbed Charlie's bag from the car floor behind the drivers seat. As he headed back towards the house, he lead Charlie along with him. Charlie trailed after him like a baby elephant holding it's mothers tail.

Danny turned his attention to his daughter and waved, "Hey monkey."

"Hey Danno," she said, forcing a smile.

Now her brother was safely being cared for she was more antsy to leave. It was rare for her to be given a day alone with her mother, let alone at somewhere that was actually interesting. Finally she didn't have to fight Stan or Charlie for attention. All they had to do was go.

"Anything I need to know?" Danny asked.

Grace groaned and sunk sulkily into her chair. It couldn't be that hard to look after a sick kid, he could figure it out. He was supposed to be a detective, couldn’t he see she had places to be?!

"His coughing sounds really dry and there's a rumble in his chest so I've got him this cough syrup that's extra strong. He can only have one spoonful in a four hour period and he had the first one an hour ago. It's supposed to make him drowsy, but his fever is making him a little-"

"Insane," Grace muttered.

"Goofy," Rachel said.

Danny glanced between his daughter and his ex wife. "You uh, you brought powerful medication to drug a kid?"

"Don't be like that, it helps his throat! He's had so many drugs pumped through him from such a young age his body has built up a resistance. Besides he needs a lot of sleep, his head is terrible," Rachel argued defensively. 

There was something behind her voice. The defensiveness masked something else. Something more vulnerable. Danny cleared his throat and tried to ease off.

"Well I've got all the ingredients for soup, so as long as his stomach is alright it'll help keep him hydrated," he said.

"It is at the moment. Will you please call me if he gets any worse?" Rachel urged.

Ah. That's what it was. Rachel was worried about him. Danny could sympathise. Steve liked to tease him for being a hypochondriac but he was nothing compared to Rachel. Danny laid his hands on her arms to ease her fears.

"Rach, it's a cold. Just a cold. I’m sure I can handle it," he insisted. 

"I know but everything starts out with flu like symptoms, what if it's something more?" She asked desperately. 

"Remember when you were convinced Gracie had whooping cough? Remember what it was?" Danny asked, pointedly.

Rachel's face fell into annoyance. "I can't believe you'd bring that up, that was totally different-"

"It was a cold. Three thousand dollars it cost us to find out she had something she could cure with an aspirin. They didn't even give us the aspirin!" Danny reminded her.

"It wasn't three thousand dollars!" Rachel huffed.

"It wasn't far off it," Danny countered. 

"Well if we'd taken her to an NHS hospital it would have been free!" Rachel argued.

"Uh, no actually, if we'd taken her to an NHS hospital it would have cost us three thousand dollars in air travel to get to the UK," Danny countered.

"Right, yes, I know, you're right, like _always!"_ Rachel huffed.

Danny tensed. His hands fell away from her so he tucked them into his pockets. Another argument was beginning to brew between them. Grace had managed to catch onto the signs by now. She leaned over the car seat towards the two of them to interrupt. 

"Mom, c'mon! Let's go already!" She called.

"I'm coming honey, I'm coming," Rachel murmured. 

Danny tried not to show the ache in his chest that tugged at his heart. Grace was so eager to leave without him, and on their weekend no less. But he couldn't risk letting her feel guilty. She deserved a weekend away, and he couldn't give her one.

"We've got this Rach. Don't worry about it. Enjoy your weekend," he urged.

"Call me if he gets worse," Rachel said.

"Of course I will," Danny lied.

He wouldn't call her unless Charlie was literally hospitalized overnight. If she was taking Grace away for the entire weekend the least she could do was enjoy it. He waved them off as they finally left, and returned to the house to find his son.

Danny had expected to find him laying across the couch bundled up in his blanket, but the couch was empty. In fact, the entire first floor was empty. 

"Steve?" He called.

"We're up here," Steve called back.

Danny frowned. He followed the sound of Steve's voice up the stairs. The main bedrooms door was ajar. Danny could see their shadows moving inside. Well, Steve's anyway. He pushed the door open curiously. A small smile crept on his face with what he saw.

"What's uh... what's going on here?" He asked, smiling.

Danny leaned in the doorway to watch the way that Steve and Charlie shared a look. Steve had tidied away all of his things that could be considered dangerous, gotten out his softest bed covers and fluffed up his pillows. Now Charlie was all tucked into it. The king sized bed practically swamped the small boy. When he curled up around his plush t-rex he made himself even smaller and the bed even bigger. With the way the navy had taught Steve to make beds, the corners were still tucked in tightly. When Charlie moved, most of the bedcover stayed flat because of them. But Steve had tucked Charlie in and made him comfortable, and now his attention was on the TV. 

"You got a TV up here now?" Danny said, pointedly.

Steve glanced up from where he was screwing in the satellite cable to shrug at Danny. His eyes said it all though.Steve couldn't sleep with the TV on, so this set had to have been dragged up here just for this situation. Just for Charlie. That realisation warmed Danny's heart.

"Well, yknow, some days it seems pointless to get out of bed and go all the way downstairs to watch something that's been on a thousand times before, so."

Danny nodded, unconvinced. Steve smirked to himself. There had been days when he didn't get out of bed for sure, but it wasn't the TV that kept him there. Danny patted the bed by Charlie's feet.

"Are you hungry buddy?" He asked. 

Charlie whined quietly and muttered, "I want ducks..."

Danny and Steve frowned at each other. Neither of them were entirely sure what he meant by that. By the silent shared look, they both knew that the other was not going to be very helpful. 

"You want duck? To eat?" Steve asked.

"No," Charlie whined.

He raised his arm, which caused the green t-rex to dangle in the air, and then let it fall again. Steve looked up at Danny. He had no idea what it meant either.

"One more time bud, what ducks?" Danny asked.

Charlie groaned in frustration at their inability to understand and repeated, "Duck tails..."

"Duck tails?" Steve repeated to Danny.

Danny frowned, just as confused. "Duck tails?"

"Duck tails?" Steve muttered to himself.

"Oh - Ducktales?! You wanna watch Disney channel?!" Danny asked.

Charlie nodded into his pillow so Danny and Steve shared a slightly over zealous grin. Figuring out what the kid meant was like playing charades but he was always thrilled to win.

"Have you got Disney?" Danny asked Steve.

"How would I know? I'm a grown man Danny, I don't watch kids shows," Steve shrugged.

"Lucky you. Move over, let me see if I can find it," Danny said.

Steve was just pleased that the TV turned on when Danny wanted it to. It had been a long time since he had to set one up by himself and he hadn't been certain he knew what he was doing. Although as Danny flicked through the channels he fumbled with the remote. 

"There it is. What- what are you doing? Go back!" Steve ordered as Danny flicked straight past the kids channels. 

"I'm trying I can't-" Danny grunted as he tried to flick back, but fumbled with the buttons again. 

"You just turned off guide-"

"Yes, thank you, I can see that Steve!"

"Now we have to start all over again! What’s the matter with you?!"

"What’s the matter with me?! It's your stupid remote!"

"You’re blaming the remote?! Really? You're a grown man Danny-"

"You know I got goofy thumbs-"

Charlie crawled down the length of the bed and snatched the controls from Danny. He sat back on his heels and flicked through the system to find Disney Plus. The men watched in sheepish awe as the child patched in his mothers account details and the shows appeared on the screen.

Danny cleared the catch in his throat to mutter, "Good, uh, good job..."

Steve murmured in agreement, "Well done Charlie."

It was one thing to be shown up by the kids at work - before she left Kono had tried to show Danny how to work some of the technology, which he attempted to pass onto Tani, and it just embarrassed them both - but this was an actual child. Charlie crawled back up to the pillows, tucked himself back in, and reached for his dinosaur. As he settled himself back in, both men shifted awkwardly. 

"Can you please bring me some water?" Charlie asked.

They both took this as an opportunity to escape the lingering sense of embarrassment. Danny returned to the kitchen to continue cooking and sent Steve back up with a glass of water and an empty salad bowl, just in case. He set the bowl on the floor and the water on the bedside table.

"Life is like a hurrica-a-ne, here. In. Duck. Berg!" 

The playfully cheerful song drew Steve's attention to the show. He watched curiously as new, bolder, more pop-artsy versions of characters he recognised from his own youth moved across the screen. Scrooge Mcduck was there, front and centre, chasing down what appeared to be a dime. The duck crashing the plane he recognised vaguely. He hadn’t charged much even with this new design. If you asked him to name him though Launchpad would have been the last thing he guessed. Huey, Dewey and Louie he recognised by their colours, but the pink one he barely remembered. Steve found himself smiling at her though. She had spunk. He reminded her of someone, he just couldn't place his finger on who.

"Who's that Charlie?" He asked.

Charlie shifted his head to see the screen. "Webby."

"Webby huh?"

Steve didn't remember any Webby. Not that he'd watched much Disney when he was young. He was more of a Looney Tunes kind of kid. Still, you'd think a little girl duckling with a grappling hook and night vision glasses would have stuck in his head. Especially with that bright pink bow. 

"Who's Webby?" He asked.

There was a pause as Charlie mustered the strength to explain, "Webby is Mrs Beakley's granddaughter. Mrs Beakley is Scrooge's housekeeper, but she used to be a spy."

Steve's eyebrows rose, "Webby's being raised by a former spy huh? I wonder what that would be like..."

He pursed his lips and folded his arms as he allowed himself to watch the cartoon ducks for just a little while longer. Then he shook his head and swallowed back the bitterness to try and remember what else he had to do today.

"Call if you need anything okay Charlie? We'll be right downstairs," he promised.

Charlie didn't respond as he continued to watch the TV. His eyelids were heavy and he yawned a couple of times while Steve was there. Steve barely made it back to the kitchen before Charlie was falling asleep. He pushed himself up onto the side to watch the way Danny moved around the kitchen.  
Danny had thrown a towel across one shoulder and tied Steve's apron (a Christmas present from Danny in the first place) around his waist, which gave him a chef like flair. Steve liked watching Danny in fussing in the kitchen. He really took control. 

"So, ducktales huh? What's, uh, what's that all about?" Steve asked curiously. 

Danny glanced over his shoulder to give Steve an odd look, and shrugged. "It's a kids show."

"Yeah, no, I know, I just... I've never heard of it," he shrugged back.

"What'd you want me to say Steve, it's a cartoon about a family of ducks that go on adventures. I put it on, Charlie watches it, it gives me time to do other things. Like cooking. Which I'm doing now," Danny said, pointedly. 

"Right. Need a hand?" Steve asked.

Danny had left chopped carrots on the chopping board beside Steve. He turned to face him so he could ask him to pass it over. Danny paused to arch an eyebrow at him instead. 

"What?" Steve asked, through a mouthful of carrot.

"You're eating my ingredients," Danny said.

Steve nodded, still munching away. "That's what you’re supposed to do when cooking, you have to make sure it all tastes okay before you serve it."

"Before you serve it Steve, not before you cook it!" Danny argued.

Steve raised a hand to let Danny know he was still going to argue, right after he swallowed. Then he felt a tickle in his nose that he couldn't quite shift. Steve turned his head away from Danny to sneeze.   
Directly onto the carrots.

Danny's shoulders slumped. "Great, stealing my ingredients isn’t enough, you have to infect them too?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

Steve cut himself off when the tickle in his nose jabbed at the back of his throat. He couldn't hold in the coughing fit that came with it. Again, instinctively trying to avoid coughing on Danny meant coughing straight onto the carrots. Danny rolled his eyes in annoyance and disgust.

"Take them. Take them, just take them!" He urged, pushing the carrots away as he did.

Steve wrinkled his nose one more time to fight off one last sneeze.

"Alright... alright, I'm good," he lied.

Danny straightened his back as he watched Steve. Steve tried to flash him a smile, but it was interrupted by another sneeze. Danny couldn't mask his concern this time.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Hay fever," Steve shrugged. He reached for a tissue to blow his nose. "It's a bitch this time of year."

Danny eyed Steve uncertainly. That cough sounded drier than the usual hay fever coughs he'd heard. 

"You got antihistamines around here?" He asked.

"Yeah, of course I do, do you not think I plan for these sorts of things?" Steve scoffed.

"Well if you didn't you could go buy them and buy me replacement carrots," Danny said.

He lifted the chopping board and all the carrots with it, tilted them in his hand, and sighed. He was going to have to clean they all again now.

"Just make it without carrots," Steve said.

"Make it without- jus- get out. Would you get out of my kitchen please?" Danny huffed.

Steve smirked to himself. A burst of pride filled his chest at the idea that Danny felt comfortable enough to claim his house as his own. But he was still going to tease him for it.

"Your kitchen?"

"My kitchen," Danny repeated firmly.

Steve hopped off of the side and pointed out, "It's my house."

"My kitchen," Danny repeated stubbornly. 

Steve sniggered as he walked past Danny. He headed towards the bathroom cabinet to find his antihistamines. 

"My house, my kitchen," he muttered under his breath as he went.

On the way back he found a little black bottle on the table that he didn't recognise. The liquid inside it sloshed when he moved it, but it sounded gloopy. Steve examined the label curiously. It was written scientifically. Steve thought about sending a photo to Max for a translation, but then he thought an easier way would be to ask Danny. 

"What's this?" Steve called.

"What's what?" Danny called back.

"This."

"I cannot see through walls Steve!"

Steve wandered to the kitchen to swing into the room just enough to show Danny the bottle he had found. 

"This."

Danny twisted to see what Steve had. He turned back to mix the soup he had left simmering.

"That's Charlie's cough medication," he said.

"This is?" Steve frowned. 

This wasn't exactly the kind of medication he would expected a child of Charlie's age to need. He was expecting something with fewer chemical formulas and more Sesame Street characters. Something that gleefully claimed to taste like grapes, but tasted nothing like any kind of grape anyone had ever tasted before. 

"But this is for adults."

"It's medicine Steve. It's for whoever needs it," Danny said.

"But it doesn't even have the flavour on it. It's just chemicals," Steve said.

Steve took off the lid and sniffed the liquid curiously. It was sickly really. The overwhelming scent of sugar didn't fill him with hope. Anything that needed that much sugar to be tolerable to drink, couldn't taste any good. 

"If it works, it works. It might make him a bit spacey but-" Danny began.

"Spacey? This stuff'll knock him out!" Steve argued.

"Well sleep helps heal," Danny said firmly.

Steve hummed dubiously. Of course he knew that sleep helped. So did food. Keeping fed and hydrated was really important, which is why Danny was cooking up the soup for him. Steve set the cough syrup to one side and leaned back against the side to watch Danny cook. His eyes trailed down Danny's back down past his hips which swayed as he moved. Steve's watched his ass as he went. He had to shake his head to distract himself.

"Can I uh, can I help?" Steve asked.

"Do you know how to cook?" Danny asked.

Steve shrugged at him and smirked, "I’m alive aren’t I?" 

"Barely," Danny scoffed.

"C'mon, let me help," Steve insisted. 

He leaned against the hob to try and peer into the saucepan that Danny was mixing. It was bubbling away filling the kitchen with a rich chicken broth smell. Even just the smell of it reminded Steve of all the times he had woken up in hospital to find Danny had brought him soup. As lovely an idea that was, Kamekona always brought shrimp or fried chicken and it just tasted better. 

"I don't think you're ready," Danny said.

Steve frowned. "Not ready? For soup? We took down a drug trafficking ring yesterday Danny, but you think I can't handle soup?!"

"You've been trained for taking down drug rings, have you ever been trained to make soup?"

There was a deadly serious tone that went with Danny's expression. He meant that question. The accusation with it was heavy. Steve stood up straight and raised his chin to frown at Danny. His confusion usually won some kind of smirk from the blond, but today he was far too busy to notice it.

"Danny-" Steve began.

Danny cut him off before he could continue. "No you have not, and this soup is for my little boy, so I don't think you're ready to help make it and I'm not gonna risk it."

"You serious?" Steve demanded. 

"I don't want him to get more sick," Danny said firmly.

"More sick from soup?"

"You've already sneezed on the carrots-"

"That was one thing Danny!"

"You haven't even washed your hands-"

"I'll wash my hands! The sink is right here, I'll wash them!"

"You’re being really childish-"

"Are you watching? I’m washing my hands - look, Danny, I'm washing my hands!"

Steve was washing them to be fair. He nudged Danny with his shoulder to force him to turn enough to see it. Steve very pointedly scrubbed the soap between his fingers until it foamed. Danny rolled his eyes. He shifted his hips back away from Steve just in case. Watching the idiot rubbing himself like that sent funny shivers through him that he didn’t want to deal with right now.

"I don’t have time to deal with you being childish while I'm trying to cook, okay? Go, watch TV or walk Eddie or something," Danny said.

Steve rinsed off his hands and leaned his elbows over the edge in helpless disappointment. 

"Are you kidding me?" He demanded. 

"Why would you think that? I'm deadly serious, get out," Danny ordered.

"This is crazy. It's just soup Danny, it's not like it's magic," Steve huffed.

"It's not just soup Steve, it's matzo ball soup okay? This thing has cured more people than vaporub," Danny declared. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't realise that you're delusional," Steve huffed, bitterly. 

Danny rolled his eyes and turned back to rant at him. "Okay, Steven-"

"Danno..."

Charlie's voice was weak and quiet but silenced both grown men instantly. They heard him coughing from upstairs. Steve folded his arms across his chest and leaned back. Danny frowned at the chopping board. He mentally calculated how long it would take him to dice the onions and deal with Charlie before they _had_ to be added to the pot.

"Charlie's calling you," Steve said, pointedly.

"I need to add the onions, can you see what he wants?" Danny asked. 

Obviously, he would have. Steve rolled onto the balls of his feet in order to go and see if the kid was alright. But when he heard Charlie cry out again, his voice a little stronger this time, he felt that light spite bite at him.

"Danno!"

"I think he wants you," Steve said.

"I need to cook," Danny whined softly.

"Dan-no!" Charlie called again.

"Coming buddy!" Danny called.

He gritted his teeth as he lingered for a moment longer, just eyeing the onions. Steve rolled his eyes. He hated having to pretend to be patient. 

"If you show me a recipe, I'll do exactly what it says to do," he said, pointedly. 

"It's not written down," Danny murmured 

Steve frowned. "It’s not written down? Why's it not written down, what if you forget something?"

"I'm not going to forget something Steve, I've been making this for years," Danny huffed, defensively.

"You could have been making it wrong for years and never known because it isn’t written down," Steve countered.

"This is my mother's recipe Steve!" Danny spat back, defensively, "My grandmother gave it to her, from my grandmothers grandmother! It's been in my family all the way back to Verona-"

"Da-a-anno!"

He couldn't ignore Charlie yelling like that. The strain on his voice alone was enough to make Danny yank off his towel. With one foot out of the door he threw some instructions back at Steve.

"Dice the onions, add two and a half cloves of garlic-"

"Two and a half?"

"Yes, two and a _half_ Steven, you do know how to make fractions don’t you?!"

"Yeah, I do."

"Make sure they’re finely sliced-"

_"Danno!"_

"If I'm not back in five minutes add the onions and fold them into the soup-"

"Fold them?"

"Do not mess it up Steven!"

"I won’t!"

"And don't sneeze in my soup!"

The last order came from the hallway as Danny darted back towards the stairs. Steve let out a small chuckle to himself. It was sweet to know that Danny was still using family recipes every time he made soup for his friends. For Steve. It warmed his heart in some way to know that Danny considered him family. As he did his best to dice the halved yellow onions without his eyes watering too badly, Steve felt a tug of guilt.

The last time he had been left the choice of soup or shrimp he hadn't batted an eyelid. Kamekona's shrimp was the best on the island, and it was rare to be offered it for free. But now he knew what Danny did, the effort he had put in, he felt bad about it.

Steve added the onions and garlic in and tilted his head at the mixture. He wasn't entirely sure what Danny had meant by folding it in, but if it was like making eggs, he could figure out the technique. Steve did his best to fold everything together as the strong scents mixed in the air over the pot. He wasn't sure what kind of chicken stock Danny was using but it must have been strong. It was making him feel slightly light headed to breath it all in.  
Danny walked in just as Steve finally had to stagger backwards.

Instinct kicked in and Danny darted forward to catch him, just in case. Steve was a good head taller than him, but he Danny was strong. He was confident that if Steve fell he could hold him steady instead of letting him hit the ground. But Steve didn't fall. Instead he just felt dizzy, and felt his partners hands groping at his waist. Then he felt queasy too. But he stabilised himself against the side, so Danny could let go.

Danny's hands did not move.

"You alright?" He asked urgently.

"Me? Yeah, I'm fine," Steve batted the air breezily, "Are you alright?"

"Uh, yes, yeah, I'm good, but I'm not the one who tripped," Danny stated. "I'm also not the one who sneezed a dozen times today. You’re not getting sick are you?"

What should have been concern in his voice sounded more like an accusation, which made Steve frown defensively. 

"Me? No way. I'm never sick," he lied.

He backed away from Danny, which made his hands slip away from his waist. Danny folded them across his chest instead. 

"I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you. You know liver transplants affect your immunity," he warned. The concern finally broke through as he asked, "Are you sure you’re okay?"

By then it was too late. Steve had picked a story. Even though his throat was beginning to itch and his head was still slightly swaying, he had to pretend to be fine. To be stoic. Steve had made his bed, and now he had to lie in it.

"My God, Danny, _yes_ I am okay!" He huffed. "I’m sure it's just things in the air like dust particles and-"

"Pathogens?" Danny offered.

"Forget pathogens, you’re pathological," Steve scoffed.

Danny opened his mouth to gasp in fake surprise, "You made a funny!"

Steve scoffed and nodded, glaring at Danny as he searched for a response. Danny continued grinning at him as he waited to hear one. Steve felt a jolt of alarm as he realised he had nothing.

Then, thankfully, Eddie sneezed.

The dogs ears flapped across his eyes as he shook his entire body. One sneeze for him meant recalibrating his entire existence. But his tail swept across the floor merrily as he did. Steve grinned. He thrust an arm out towards the dog.

"See what you’ve done now? You’ve spread your hypochondria to my dog," he declared.

Danny bit his bottom lip as he glanced down at Eddie, "uh huh. Unless he’s sick too."

Eddie let out a loud sniff like he was trying to clear his nose, but it wasn't quite a sneeze. Steve's arm fell freely through the air and back to his side as Danny gave him a cocky look.

"He sounds sick," he lied.

"Unless he's si - what are you gonna do if he is huh? You gonna make him a bowl of mozia soup? Got a special dog recipe for him?" Steve huffed. 

"He wouldn’t be the first dog I made soup for," Danny shrugged

"Really?" Steve scoffed. He did his best to hide the fact that he found that rather endearing. He wanted to win the argument, not flatter Danny's ego. "I bet that recipes not written down either huh?"

"I don’t need it written down, I make it a lot! I told you, I had a lot of dogs growing up. Sometimes they got sick, I didn't want them to feel neglected," Danny argued.

Steve opened his mouth to counter him, but he just couldn’t. He folded his arms and let go of the argument with a long blast of air through his nose.

"That's pretty cute," he admittedly begrudgingly. 

"What can I say, I'm a cute guy," Danny shrugged. 

He flashed Steve a slightly cocky grin that made the entire kitchen look dimmer by comparison. Steve fought the urge to grin back. He adored that smile, but he couldn't break now.

"I never really pegged you for an animal lover," he said. 

_Well I love you and you’re an animal, so._ Danny swallowed back the thought by pursing his lips and slightly twisting his shoulders. "I guess there’s a lot you don’t know about me."

"Hidden secrets huh?" Steve smirked. 

"That’s classified," Danny grinned back.

Steve lit up as he declared, "Funny!"

"Thank you," Danny grinned back.

"That's another secret I take it? That you have a sense of humour?" Steve said.

"Oh I have a sense of humour. I find things funny," Danny said.

"You do? Since when?" Steve challenged.

Danny was about to go into a rant about the comic irony of the universe tying him, a man who loved nothing more than crappy burgers in a warm dingy family diner in the middle of a New Jersey winter, to this Godforsaken rock to this Godforsaken idiot of his, when the phone went off.

"Steve, keep stirring, I'll be right back."

Steve pouted to himself as Danny picked up his phone and headed into the living room for a little privacy. Alright so maybe he had an ulterior motive for suggesting Danny look after Charlie at his. Steve had been aware of his feelings for Danny for a long time now, and he knew how important it was to Danny that his kids liked any potential partner. He wanted to prove he had what it took to impress the kids. But it also gave him a little more time with Danny, alone, without him constantly being elsewhere. Danny's mind was always with his kids.

Steve just hoped that if Charlie at least was here, Danny might be able to focus a little better. He definitely hadn't expected Rachel to call when she'd hardly arrived at the spa for the weekend. It still took him by surprise that some mothers actually cared about their kids.

Steve wasn't proud of himself for listening in, but when Rachel was involved, he didn't like to be left out. He missed his opportunity to tell Danny everything once and Charlie happened.

Not that he would ever hold that against either of them. He loved Charlie. He was delighted the kid existed. But that bump in the road had knocked him back further than he expected it to, and now he couldn't help feeling uneasy when Rachel was around.

"It's _fine_ Rachel, I told you we've got this... because he's sleeping! You gave him medication that could knock out a gorilla!... I just took him some more tissues, and he drank a whole glass of water... yes I am... because matzo ball soup makes people feel better! Yes it does! Yes it does Rach- yknow what? I’m not having this argument. Go and enjoy your weekend with Gracie, I promise you everything is alright here, stop worrying, try to unwind for once in your life!... If I were the tightly wound one, I would be the one at the spa Rachel!... Yeah, alright, I'll tell him."

Steve leapt back towards the stove to pretend he hadn't been listening in as Danny returned. He let out a heavy sigh and rolled up his sleeves again.

"Is everything alright?" He asked, innocuously.

Danny ran a hand through his hair as he always did when he was unsettled. "Um... y-yeah, it's just Rachel. She's worried he's sick."

"He's definitely sick Danny. The kid can barely keep his eyes open," Steve said.

"No like - like actually _sick,_ sick. She thinks one little cold like this means that the bone marrow transplant has worn off and the HLH is back," Danny said.

The mood in the room shifted. Steve paused in his stirring for a moment, before clearing his throat and carrying on.

"Oh. That's not possible, is it?" He asked. 

"No, no. Maybe? I don't know. I don't think so. I hope it isn’t-" Danny began, anxiously.

"Whoa, hey, hey, wait a second! Don't spiral man, it's just a cold! All kids get them," Steve insisted. Danny’s shoulders eased with his reassurance. "You gave Charlie the best possible care and attention to give him the best chance at staying healthy. Don't second guess yourself now,"

"Yeah... yeah, no, you're right. It's not like his body would reject the tissue now, right? It's been in him too long," Danny said.

"Exactly! It's all good man. He's just got a regular common cold, and he'll be fine in a couple days," Steve promised.

"Or less if he eats enough soup," Danny said.

Steve hummed dubiously. "Sure. Keep telling yourself that."

"It works Steve! It's a wonder drug, it is old Italian medicine- and they know what they’re talking about, the Romans invented medicine!" Danny argued.

"That's not even remotely true-" Steve laughed.

"Uh yes it is, a little known man called Hippocrates, maybe you’ve heard of him-"

"Firstly Hippocrates was Greek, secondly-"

"What are you talking about, are you saying I don’t know my history?"

"That’s exactly what I’m saying, you don’t know history or medicine-"

"Alright, let me tell you something about ancient Italy-"

"Please, go on, I'm all ears."

The argument trailed on for a good hour more at least. It was punctuated with orders from Danny that made Steve help him cook. Steve was delighted by the hidden intimacy of it. Although honestly it felt more like he was an apothecary's assistant brewing a potion than a partner stewing a meal. Still any time Steve could spend with Danny was time well spent.  
Even if they were bickering through most of it.


	2. Chapter 2

If there was a subtle way to say "please come and sleep in the bed with me, you don't have to do anything, I just want to be near you because I love you" Steve wanted to hear it. He wanted to find it in himself. To find the words that didn’t make him sound crazy or make him feel too queasy to say out loud. But he couldn’t. The best he could muster up was:

"You sure you’re okay on the couch?"

He must have said it at least a dozen times trying to convince Danny to come up with a different answer. Danny did not rise to the bait. He didn't fully trust himself to go to bed with Steve. Danny wasn't sure what would happen. He definitely wanted to sleep beside Steve, but he definitely wanted sleep to come after a lot of... rigorous exercise.

Steve had been dropping a lot of hints lately that he might be open to something beyond what they currently had, but Danny didn't want to push that too much. He didn’t know where the line was, and Steve never gave any clues that could help him. The two of them had been dancing around each other for what felt like years, and Steve's flirty suggestions never went beyond the physical side of things. Danny wanted more than that. What they currently had meant too much to him to risk stepping over the line tonight. 

"For the last time, yes! I'm fine on the couch, the couch is comfortable, the couch has TV, I'm fine with the couch," Danny said firmly. 

"Alright, alright!" Steve raised his hands in surrender. Then, with that smirk of his, he added, "But I'm more than willing to share the spare bed if you wanna."

Danny shook his head. "I don’t want to keep waking you up when I have to get up and check in on Charlie throughout the night."

Steve waited for him to continue with his list of objections. Danny never had just one. When no more came Steve arched an eyebrow at him. 

"That’s your only objection?"

Danny deliberately didn't look his way as he continued settling out the bedcovers on the couch.

"Yeah."

Steve watched the back of Danny's head as he tucked the covers into the couch cushions to set himself up as neatly as possible. His stomach felt unsettled as his heart beat a little harder. His tongue trailed slowly across his lips.

Maybe, just maybe, there was more of a chance for them than he had been thinking.

"I could stay on the couch-" 

Danny shook his head and turned back to look at him. "No that would disturb you when I have to come down and get tissues or water or whatever throughout the night. I can hear Charlie from down here and it won't disturb you in any way, it's fine."

"You taking care of your kid could never be disturbing," Steve said.

"Even if it wakes you up after two hours because he's thrown up over his pyjamas and needs a shower?" Danny asked. 

Steve shrugged. "We've all been there."

Danny furrowed his brow at him. The bubble of humour they tried to suppress made both of their smiles grow in sync. 

"I'll bare that in mind," Danny warned.

Steve laughed along with him, and nodded. He kept his hands crossed over his stomach, trying to pin down the butterflies knocking against his organs. If they got any worse he might have to throw up. 

"You, uh, you didn't eat much at dinner, so if you get hungry, help yourself," Steve said.

"Oh - yeah, thanks, but I'm not uh... I’m not hungry," Danny lied.

He was too concerned to eat. Rachel had gotten into his head and even though he tried to ignore it, something in him was worried about what Charlie being ill could lead to. Besides, there was plenty of soup left on the stove that needed to be eaten. 

"Sure. Alright. I just don't want you to forget to take care of yourself while you're looking after Charlie, yknow?" Steve said. 

Danny felt his chest warm affectionately at his partner. Steve was hopeless at looking after himself. There were days he went on nothing but army rations and canteen water. Other times he was too wrapped up in work to eat at all. Or he was endlessly stuffing his face. There was very little inbetween. Danny loved Steve. He really loved him. But he was hopeless.

"Goodnight Steve," Danny said, pointedly.

"Goodnight Danno," Steve nodded.

He whistled to Eddie. The old dog rose to his paws and stretched out. He yawned and shook out his ears. Then he trotted over to Steve and plonked his rear at his feet, looking up at him obediently. Eddie's tail swished as Steve reached down to pat his head.

"Dyou let him sleep in bed with you, or just in the room?"

Steve opened his mouth to reply instinctively, but his mind outrun his mouth, and it twisted into a cocky grin as what he had planned to say changed.

"You're welcome to join me and found out."

Danny pulled that turtle face of his and nodded along. The curiosity of it, and the arrogance of Steve for thinking that would work, almost got him. Almost.

"I'll ask him in the morning. I'll get a more intelligent answer," he smirked. 

"Are you saying I'm dumber than a dog?" Steve asked.

"You are a dog," Danny countered.

"Woof!" Steve grinned.

Danny hit him with his pillow, laughing, "go on already! Get out of here!"

Steve's smile never faded as he headed to the stairs. Eddie padded along at his heels. Danny glanced up to the stairs to watch him go. He snatched his eyes away before Steve could turn back to catch him. He did try. One final glance before the morning. Once he had gone though, Danny collapsed onto the couch, buried his head in his hands and exhaled hard.

Resisting his feelings for Steve was easy at work. Masking his need to touch him behind concern or even exasperation at Steve getting or nearly getting injured again was easy. In the kitchen, they didn’t have that excuse. Out in the fields he kept his guard up. He was a leader - a strong one at that. A protector. He was their defence. Headstrong and determined to the point of recklessness. That kind of alpha wolf mentality was easier to resist.

Here, in his home, Steve was domesticated. He was cheerful and sweet and eager to help. He cared for Charlie, enough to even give up his own bed without thinking about it. Or maybe he had been able to get away with it because he thought Danny would refuse to let him give up his bed - which he would - so he just didn't ask. Then he let Danny take control in the kitchen, and he had the audacity to look cutely vulnerable as he frowned hard, focusing on trying to get things right even though he wasn't entirely sure how to do them. He even slept with his dog.

If work Steve was a wolf, home Steve was a puppy.

And Danny's poor heart couldn't take it.

Danny listened as the shower stopped. He didn't need to check; he knew how long Steve had been in there. The famous three-minute shower rose a smile from somewhere within him. For all of his unpredictability, Steve's habits were drilled into him too hard to fight them. His footsteps creaked across the landing and he slipped into his bedroom.  
Naked, and dripping wet...

Danny shook his head. He couldn’t be thinking like that. Not in a shared space. Truthfully Danny wasn't entirely sure where he even stood with Steve. He liked him, for sure. He definitely wanted to be with him. But Steve was so hard to get a read on. He was trained never to give anything away that could be used against him- never to show vulnerability.

As invaluable as that was to Five-O, it made it nearly impossible to gauge if Steve liked Danny back, or if he was just a physical guy.

Danny had seen him around his fellow SEAL's. They all hugged each other and leaned against one another and hung arms around each other’s necks like if they weren't touching their bonds would fade. It didn't necessarily mean anything more.

But the flirting?

 _You're welcome to join me_.

He had to know what he was doing. He had to. And you didn't just flirt with your partner unless at least some part of you thought there was a chance...

"Ah! Perry the plat-ta-pus! Your timing is impeccable. By which I mean, _completely peccable!_ "

The strange accent of an unknown man caught Danny's attention. His heart thumped hard, rushing adrenaline through his legs, and pushing him to his feet. Before he was fully standing his mind caught up to his reflexes and realized that the TV must have still been on. Danny felt slightly foolish for his instantaneous reaction. At least it was a distraction from his overthinking though. He slipped into that far too easily these days.

Danny crept upstairs as quietly as he could to avoid disturbing anyone. He wasn't certain how long it would take for Steve to fall asleep, but he knew he wouldn't be able to at all unless Danny turned off the TV. Yet Steve hadn't said a word about it. It warmed Danny's chest again to think of how Steve was willing to give up sleep if it made Charlie more comfortable.

Why he was so damn cute?!

Danny felt slightly odd to creep into Steve's bedroom, even if he wasn't in it. He cracked the door open enough to peer around it, and it still felt like an invasion of privacy. 

"Charlie? You awake bud?" He whispered.

There was no sign of response from the bed. Charlie was out for the count. Danny took that as permission to turn off the tv. He crept in on his tip toes as if that would have any effect on the noise, and edged over to the TV.

But there was no button to turn it off with.  
Why was there no button? Why was technology becoming so ridiculously relied on that Danny needed a separate decisive to control it?! Now was not the time to be annoyed by technological advances.

He glanced around for the remote. It took him a moment to realise that it was still in Charlie's hand. The one that wasn't wrapped around a dinosaur. As cautiously as possible, Danny eased the remote away from Charlie. He had to prise the first two fingers off, but after that it slipped from his palm quite easily. Danny chuckled to himself, a little too proud for such a simple task. Danny very rarely won operation or buckaroo these days, so any minor victory felt noteworthy.

That dull sense of smugness instantly faded when Danny switched off the TV. It hadn't occurred to him to switch on the bedside lamp, or any other light in fact, and now he was plunged into darkness. Danny trailed a hand along the edge of the bed to use it as a guide back to the table. It took a moment or two of fumbling in the dark to find the lamp switch. Once he did, the softer light filled the room with a gentle glow. It illuminated Charlie's face as he slept.

Even caked in dried snot and sweat, with hair like a bird’s nest Charlie looked sweet. He was softly nestled against the pillows, peacefully resting like a little angel. Danny chuckled to himself as a rush of affection spread through his chest.

But his mind was still working against him.

It hurt to think about all the time he had lost. Those big moments he never saw. Charlie learning to crawl. His first steps. His first words. Potty training. Hell, he hadn't even changed one of his nappies. Charlie spent his first few years calling another man daddy.

Even then it hadn’t sat right with Danny. He couldn’t place why back then. He had always just assumed it was something to do with those beautiful two weeks when he still believed Charlie was his. When Rachel had told him, she was pregnant his world had been rocked. The delight that came with that news was the only thing that got him through Five-O being torn apart. Which made it that much harder to hear that the baby wasn't his.

And yet when she went into labour, who was the first person she called for help? A dad was there when he was needed right? He was at least there when the baby was born. At least Danny hadn't missed that.  
But after that he had actively avoided the baby. Knowing what they could have had if the baby was his had hurt like a dagger. Then she tried to take Grace away too, and that anger in his gut, one he thought he'd finally gotten away from, it burned in Danny's chest.

Even now he knew the truth it still lingered within him.

The unanswerable questions ached in him. If they had never stolen the money, if Steve had never been arrested, if Five-O hadn't been disbanded at the time, if he could have gone back to Newark with Grace and Rachel, if, if, _if_.

Danny's stomach churned as he watched the rise and fall of his baby's stomach under the covers. Even the idea of missing any more time with him ached. He had lost so much of it. Lost it to his work and Rachel's lies... Grace was growing up fast without him between work and the divorce, and Charlie...

Watching your son grow up in hospital gowns was something that Danny wouldn’t wish on anyone. But Charlie was healthy now. Sort of. He felt a ball tugging at the base of his throat as the worry wriggled its way through his chest towards his heart. The icy fingers reached for it, slowly. Sickeningly so.

What would he do if he lost Charlie altogether?

"Danno?"

Danny gasped at the sound of the door creaking behind him. He hadn't heard Steve's footsteps shuffling towards the room. Steve winced at the light as his eyes adjusted to it. Steve looked sleepy. Like he had just woken up. Danny glanced at the clock. It was almost two am. He hadn't noticed how much time had slipped away while he stared as his son. 

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Danny whispered back.

Steve shook his head. He wasn't entirely sure what had woken him up, but something had drawn him into this room when he had. He hadn't expected to find his partner lingering over a sleeping child, keeping close to the light, like he was the only thing standing between him and the darkness. That's what seemed to linger around them. Some, unknown, unspoken entity hidden in the shadows at the edges of the room. He felt like he had stumbled into a hospital room. That luminal feeling hung between them. Although his mind still felt fuzzy, Steve felt compelled to speak.

"Danno? What’s going on?"

He kept his voice low. He didn’t want to disturb the mood, but he couldn’t figure out what that mood was. They weren't overly worried about Charlie. He was safe after all. It wasn't uncomfortable either. But it was heavy. It only got heavier when he noticed the catch in Danny's voice.

"How long... how long d'you think she would have kept him from me?"

Steve's mind spun. Part of him knew that he should have known what he was talking about instantly, but the rest of him was drawing a blank.

"Who?" He asked.

"Rachel," Danny failed to hide the bitter sting in his voice. "It took three years, Steve. It took her three years of my son's life to tell me the truth. Because he got sick. But... if Charlie had never gotten sick... if he had never needed my bone marrow... if Grace had been a match to him... how long? How long could she keep my baby from me?" 

Steve set his hands on his hips and said, softly, "Yeah but he did. He did. And she wasn't. So it's just three years."

"The _first_ three years. The most _important_ three years," Danny insisted. 

"Which he doesn't remember. Which he never will," Steve countered.

"But I do," Danny sighed.

He looked back down at Charlie. Danny had held him on the first day of his life. He had held him in his arms when he was only just big enough to fill them. After that, he could barely imagine Charlie as a toddler. He couldn't picture Charlie between the first day of his life and the day Rachel told him the truth. That hurt.

Steve edged closer into the light to nudge him. "And you remember the rest of his life too. You're going to be there for him every day of your life. What does it matter if you missed a few years when you'll be there for the rest?"

Both of then looked down at Charlie as he slept on, blissfully unaware of the swirling mess of emotion above him. 

"At the end of the day you’re here. You’re still here. And every kid needs his dad and Danny you're his dad. He needs you now, not then."

"Yeah..." Danny sighed. 

He knew he was right, but the guilt was still there. Guilt of what he missed. And the pain of betrayal had ruined any lingering affection he still had for Rachel. It had ruined everything good he could have made of his life. 

"Because he’s your son. And children need their dads..." Steve continued.

Danny frowned. "You just said that."

Steve frowned hard at Danny. "Did I?"

Danny tilted his head at Steve. He watched him, silently for a couple of seconds. Steve was swaying back and forth without really noticing. He looked drowsy. More than he should. Danny's concern switched from Charlie onto Steve.

"Are you okay?" He asked again.

"Mmm? Yeah, I'm uh, I'm fine. I just need water," Steve said. 

Danny watched him turned for the door, and almost slam directly into it. An urgency gripped his chest. He jolted forward to grab onto Steve and pull him back from the door and avoid injury. 

"Okay, I don’t care what you say, you're sick!" He declared.

"I’m not-" Steve began.

Steve was silenced by Danny touching him. He had to keep one hand on Steve's bare shoulder to keep him stable long enough for him to be able to reach up and lay a hand on his forehead. He didn't need to. Steve was shirtless, and he could sense the heat emanating from his chest. In the limited light he could see how pale he had gotten too. There was no doubting he was ill. And there was no arguing when Danny was the nurse.

"You’re burning up Steve! You're sick!" He insisted. 

Steve couldn't argue. His mind was too full of candy floss. Besides, he wasn't going to fight against anything that made Danny hold his hands against his bare chest and walk him towards an empty bed. The spare room was unfamiliar and dark and his mind was murky. Steve hardly recognised it. 

"You booked us a hotel?" He said, surprised.

Eddie raised his head from the large cushion beneath the window. Danny recognised it from where it usually sat, downstairs. Clearly Steve had brought it up here so that Eddie was out of the way too. He was perfectly comfortable handing over control of his own house to Danny. That level of trust from a man who hired a PI to track his own mother, was unbelievable. Danny felt a swell of pride to recognise it. For now though, he had other priorities. 

"C'mon, into bed."

Danny wasn't sure he'd needed to say anything because Steve had gone limp to belly flop onto the bed as soon as he was close enough to. Still it was almost cute to see him army crawl up to the pillows. Danny smiled to himself to see Steve flip himself onto his back and look up at him. 

"You gonna join me Danno?"

Danny's smile grew into a laugh. It was finally easy to resist climbing into the bed beside him, since he knew Steve was sick. 

"Thanks for the offer, but someone in this place needs to be healthy enough to keep you alive," Danny smiled.

"But I'm not sick!" Steve lied.

"Sure, and I'm not from Jersey," Danny smirked. 

Steve gave a breathy laugh, but the croak in his throat made his voice rough. Danny's smile faded slightly. 

"Alright, you need sleep. Let's get you tucked in," he said.

Even in the faint light Danny could see Steve's grin grow as he approached the bed. The man's smile lit the room even when very little else did. In fact, the only light in here that wasn’t a reflection of the glow from Charlie's lamp, was the reflection of the moon on the sea through the crack in the blind. It was a clear night and the moon was bright, but Steve's smile was brighter.

Outside the beach was empty. The moon watched over them. The sky was studded with stars. The sea gently washed over the sand, sending that gushing sound into the air around them. The waves peaked and crashed with the softness of breath. It could have been the perfect night to give into his desires and climb into bed with Steve, but he didn't.

If something happened - which it probably wouldn't have - Steve was sick. He wasn't thinking straight. Danny didn't want to take advantage of that. Instead, Danny gently pushed Steve's shoulder down so he could lay flat against the mattress, and gently pulled the covers up over him. 

"What are you doing?" Steve asked.

He held onto that goofy grin of his, even as his eyes fluttered shut. He couldn't physically keep them open anymore. The headache forming behind the cloud was starting to creep up on him. 

"Shh, shh, it's alright, just settle down," Danny whispered gently.

Steve didn't fight it as much as Danny had expected him to, which made him wonder how awake Steve had actually been to start with. He tucked the covers in over Steve's chest to keep him warm, and resisted the urge to lay a kiss on his hairline. He did, however, make sure there was a box of tissues and a glass of water on the bedside table for him when he woke up.

Danny settled in on the couch as his son and his partner slept soundly above his head. The bitterness had been forgotten about. It was replaced by a quiet warmth that made his heart rise and put a smile on his face.

As much as Rachel had hurt him, she had given him three of the most important things in his life. Both of his children, obviously, and she had led him to Steve. If she and Stan had never come here, he never would have followed, and the chances were that their paths would never have crossed.

Danny's chest ached with love for his goofy idiot of a partner now more than ever, because he had shown his hand. He had unwittingly given up his cards.   
Steve felt strongly enough about Danny to want him in bed with him. Even if he wasn't in love yet it could easily lead to that, if Danny played his cards right.

With that in his mind and a smile on his face, Danny drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Whatever time Danny spent worrying about Charlie was wasted by the next day. Charlie had regained most of the colour in his cheeks as well as his appetite. He didn't want soup anymore. He wanted chips. He wasn't strong enough to eat them yet, but he wanted them. Danny dabbed his forehead gently with a damp flannel and cleared his throat.

"Hey bud, since Uncle Steve is sick too and this is his bed, d'you think it would be nice to let him share it?" Danny asked gently.

"With who?" Charlie muttered.

"With who? With you, ya goof," Danny chuckled. "It'll be easier to take care of both of you if you're in the same bed. And look how big it is! You'll have plenty of space."

Charlie yawned wide and nodded. "Okay Danno."

"Yeah?" Danny smiled.

"But I get the remote," Charlie warned.

He gripped the remote tighter to make a point. Danny chuckled warmly at him. 

"I wouldn't dream of anything else," he said.

In a few short hours Steve had taken a real swan dive into his sickness. He was white as the sheet he wrapped himself up in, and his nose was like a tomato. His eyes had gone puffy as well, just to scream to the world that this was not a well man. He shuffled into the room in a comforting old Navy shirt, and shorts. 

"Hey buddy. Mind if I join you?" He croaked to Charlie. 

Charlie shuffled up to the side of the bed to give Steve some space. Steve groaned as he collapsed onto the bed beside him. He crawled in underneath the covers, and sank into the mattress with a sigh. It felt much better being in his own bed. 

"How's your temperature now Steve?" Danny asked.

Steve couldn't have answered even if he had had time to. He didn't know the answer, but when he tried to reply, Danny stuck a thermometer under his tongue. 

"You're burning up - here."

Danny tilted a bottle of water onto his flannel again to cool it off, and patted it gently against Steve's forehead. Steve tried to struggle against his fussing, but the cooling water helped ease his temperature. It trickled down his hair and into his pillows, but he didn't care about the dampness. They were already sodden with sweat, at least this was clean. Steve's hand moved to Danny's wrist as he patted down his forehead. 

"Thanks Danny," he muttered.

Danny smiled. "Now I know you're sick."

Charlie sniffed hard, which scratched his throat, and he choked on his phlegm. Danny’s head flicked over to him.

"Nose stuffed Charlie? I'll get the dehumidifier if you need it," Danny said.

"I want the chest rub," Charlie muttered.

Steve lifted his head and frowned at him. "The what?"

"Vaporub," Danny said.

Steve couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. "Oh." 

"Yknow what, I'm really sorry buddy, I don’t have any, but it's okay, it's okay, because you don’t need vaporub. Okay? Both of you are very congested, yknow what I’m gonna do? I'm gonna get you some hot steamy soup to help you out," Danny said. 

Charlie groaned hard in disappointment and Danny rolled his eyes.

"It'll make you feel better," he said firmly.

Charlie just whined in protest instead of trying to form words. As Danny left Steve's stomach grumbled. He couldn’t help but wonder if his gut was remembering the hospital trips again and protesting the options. Kamekona wasn't coming to feed him this time.

Steve rolled his head over the pillow to look at Charlie. He watched the way that Charlie hugged his plush toy tighter to his chest.

"What’s the dinosaurs name?" He asked.

"Broccoli," Charlie said. 

"Because he's green?" Steve asked.

Charlie nodded. "Because he's green."

Steve let out a small chuckle and nodded. "Good name. Very healthy."

Charlie turned his head to smile back at Steve. He could see the way Steve wrinkled his nose to try and rid himself of the itch. He was out of tissues on his side of the bed. Charlie reached over to his box, and held it up to Steve's face.

"Here. Blow."

Steve reeled back first. He was hesitant to blow his nose into the tissue in Charlie's hand, but it was easier to humour the kid. Steve blew his nose and Charlie wiped his face clean. It felt odd and slightly uncomfortable, but only in that way that it does when children mean the best. He just needed practice. Charlie dropped the tissue into the bin beside him afterwards. 

"Thank you buddy, but.. I think I'm supposed to be looking after you, not the other way round," Steve sniffed. 

He laid an arm around Charlie to cuddle against him, in the same way Charlie had his Broccoli. 

"Mom says we all have to look after each other if we want there to be any peace in the world," Charlie said.

Steve had seen to much of life that countered that dream to ever believe it could be a reality. Yet, on the TV in front of him, drawing of dedicated ducks worked together, despite their differences, to beat Magika DeSpell's shadow demons back into oblivion. If they could figure it out after what they had been through, maybe the rest of the world could follow. Maybe.

"Your mom's a smart lady," Steve said.

Danny returned with two bowls of soup and a dog. He hadn't intended to bring the dog, but Eddie had missed his early morning walk and he had more energy than usual so he was weaving around Danny as he attempted to ascend the stairs. After the first three steps Danny gave up trying to make him sit and stay, and just let him follow him up to the room.

"The steam should make your nose less stuffy so take your time but don’t let it go cold okay? I want to see empty bowls," he ordered.

"Danno, I don’t want soup. I want chips," Charlie whined.

"I know you do but you're not healthy enough to eat that junk. You don’t want it anyway, this is home made soup, full of love and magic. It'll put hairs on your chest, right uncle Steve?"

Steve had been distracted by the TV. Ducktales had captured his attention and it wasn't about to let go. This time though, it wasn't Webby that he was focusing on. He was frowning at the duck who was flying the plane. Flying being a loose term. In the current episode he had gotten the plane stuck on top of a mountain. 

"Who gave this guy a license?" Steve muttered.

Danny turned his head to see the screen. He scoffed at the scene. "Given their decision to give Kamekona a licence too, I'm gonna say the state of Hawaii."

Steve nodded slowly as though he was listening but it was obvious that he wasn't. Danny decided not to push it. He pointed warningly at Charlie. 

"Clean bowls does not mean let Eddie lick them clean. Understood?"

Charlie's face fell like Danny had just caught him out on a plan and he had no idea how he had figured it out. Danny smirked to himself. 

"I'm a detective son. There's no hiding secrets from me."

The truth of the matter is that growing up, neither Matthew nor Danny had particularly enjoyed the soup their mother and grandmother always filled their stomachs with when they got sick. Since they always had a dog in the house too, it hadn't taken long for Danny to figure out how to get rid of the soup. It was Matthew who had figured out that if they didn’t let the dog lick the bowl fully clean, no one would be able to tell that they didn’t eat it themselves. It was the finishing touch that helped them get away with it for ages.

Danny warned Steve that he'd be back in an hour to give him the next dose of medicine, and Steve nodded again. Danny frowned at him. He turned his head back to the TV to see what had captivated Steve so fully. Dancing sky pirates led by a duckling was not the answer he was expecting. 

"Keep an eye on uncle Steve for me, okay bud? I think he's a little worse than you were," Danny whispered to Charlie.

Charlie glanced up at his uncle, just in time to see him dribble his soup down his chin by accident. He frowned too.

"Okay Danno," he said.

Charlie waited for Danny to be gone before he called the dog over and left him the bowl of soup he didn’t want to eat. That caught Steve's attention. 

"Yknow your father put a lot of time and effort into cooking that," he warned.

Charlie shrugged, "I'm not hungry."

Steve couldn't argue that. Danny's idea of keeping sick people hydrated with bowls of soup was an understandable one, but it meant that he kept a heavy rotation of bowls coming in and out of the room. It was easy to get full and fed up of it.  
Steve set his soup aside and leaned an arm out around the pillow Charlie was leaning on.

"Tell me about Ducktales Charlie. What's going on here?" He asked.

Charlie allowed Steve to pull him into a hug as they settled down in the bed in front of the TV. He eagerly explained the plot and the characters to his uncle like he was sharing gossip. The four children were, of course, the main focus. The triplets wanted to find their mother and Webby was about to sniff out secrets as well as Eddie had. Her grandmother had raised her to survive, like her own spy training had taught her to do. Quite why a super spy had given up her career to be a housekeeper to a rich and grumpy duck was never quite explained, let alone what happened to her partner or her childen that led to her raising Webby alone.

Even duck spies had their secrets. 

Other things were explained away though, like why Launchpad was always crashing. The fact that Launchpad didn’t have a driving license didn’t surprise Steve in any way. With all the crashes the McDucks had been in Steve was fairly confident that no one in Duckberg was regulating the licence systems.

Cartoon or not, these ducks should have died years ago.

The logical side of Steve's mind faded into the background when it came to Webby. Sure she was just a kid, but she was feisty and strong and so very lonely. Even though she was always the first one with a plan, and the weaponry to pull it off, she was desperate for a friend. Someone who wouldn't let her down or lie to her or betray her. Even though she had found herself a family willing to take her in, they were all still lying to her. Keeping secrets from her. She dedicated all her extra time and effort into uncovering the secrets of the family she was part of. Questions that should have been answered just by asking. Instead they were fobbed off, swept under the carpet, and hidden in lies. 

It burned in Steve's chest to see the way they lied. The growing betrayal Lena was wrapped in made his blood boil. The guilt on her shoulders as Webby showed her nothing but love and still she manipulated her for her own personal gain, burned. He didn’t notice how much so until he heard Charlie squeak.

"Uncle Steve? I can't breath..."

Steve instantly released the snake grip he had on Charlie. The boy coughed between gasps for air. Steve felt a tug of guilt.

"Sorry mini D. I didn't realise," he muttered.

Once Charlie could breath again (through his mouth at least) he settled back against Steve's chest. Steve was careful to be more gentle this time. It was easier to do than he had expected, because his eyelids were feeling very heavy. Steve was fighting the urge to sleep to the best of his abilities so that he could take to Danny while Charlie slept. All he needed to do was stay away, but sleep was sneaking in on him. Closing his eyes was the only thing that made the dull throb in his head fade back into the fog controlling his mind. Still he thought he could win. After all it was hard to breath. With his nose blocked he breathed through his mouth which dried his throat and made him need to cough. 

Plus with the TV on he thought he'd never get to sleep.

Danny smiled affectionately to see the way that Steve and Charlie had fallen asleep together. Steve wrapped his arms around Charlie and let him use him as a pillow. Charlie clung onto Broccoli the dinosaur in almost the same way. Although he was drooling on Broccoli, which was much less cute. The two of them were slightly tangled and sleeping comfortably though, and that was sweet to see. Danny was reluctant to wake him up. He nudged him very gently.

"Wake up buddy. Mom's here, you ready to go?" He asked quietly.

Charlie groaned as he tried to snuggle deeper against Steve. As he did, Steve tugged him closer to keep him comfortable. Danny bit his lip as he bit back a grin. 

"C'mon Charlie, mom's waiting. It's time to go home," Danny urged. 

Charlie blinked up at him, begrudging the fact he even had to open his eyes.

"Already?" He grumbled. 

"Yeah little man, you slept the weekend away!" Danny smiled.

Charlie groaned again, but he sat up in the bed. Danny peeled him away from Steve and helped him to collect his things. Charlie stumbled out onto the landing, and towards the stairs. Rachel was standing at the bottom. She looked up and grinned at him. 

"Mommy!" Charlie cried eagerly.

He hurried down the stairs faster than he could have yesterday morning, and ran forward to hug her. Rachel lit up to see him.

"Charlie! You're all better then I take it?" She smiled.

Charlie smiled and nodded at her. The he yawned and rubbed his eye. Rachel smiled warmly as she pulled him into another hug.

"Let's get you home and you can have a nap," She said.

Danny opened the front door to carry Charlie's bag down to the car. Charlie hurried on ahead to greet Grace while his partners strolled after him, together. After two days in a spa, Rachel had relaxed. She had blissed out and calmed down as she always did after spa treatments. It was these fleeting moments of tenderness that reminded Danny how he had fallen for her in the first place. 

Rachel was beautiful when she wasn't so tightly wound.

"I uh, I washed his blanket. It's in his bag. He didn't change out of his pyjamas at all so they're just filthy. His fever broke last night though, so he should be okay," Danny explained. 

"I bet it was the soup. It's magic," Rachel smiled. 

Danny chuckled along with her teasing. He liked to claim that his soup was magic, but he didn't think anyone would believe it. Especially since they kept resisting being endlessly fed it.

"Yeah, well, I think that medication helped. Dyou mind if I hang onto it?" Danny asked.

Rachel paused and gave him a concerned look. "Are you feeling sick too now?"

"No, no, I'm okay actually. But Steve's got it bad," Danny said.

"Really?" Rachel frowned. She glanced up at the house as though she could check on him through the walls. "But he was fine yesterday when I dropped Charlie off. That seems really fast." 

Danny followed her gaze up to the window. His tongue trailed across his teeth as he thought for a moment. It had been fast. It had sparked his own concerns but he didn't have time to dwell on them.

Danny just shrugged. "Well you know Steve, he's impulsive and determined. Once he has an idea he runs with it-"

"Even if it goes straight off a cliff," Rachel finished for him, "I remember."

There was something soft in her smile. A gentle kind of affection, like a nostalgic fondness. Once upon a time that smile filled Danny with hope. Now it felt tainted. All the lies and the hurt, he could bury them to be civil, but they never left. As much joy as she had brought into his life, Danny needed to remember the pain. It stopped him falling for it again. 

He shrugged away the idea. "Yeah. Um, I think I got everything packed in, like I said, I cleaned the blanket-"

"Thank you Danny. You're a good father." 

"Right. Thanks. But now I have to be a good partner too," Danny said. He held out the bag to Rachel as they reached her car. "Steve needs me."

Rachel took the bag, and let it drop down to his shins. She gave him another wistful smile as she thought about the last time she was sick. Stan did nothing to help her. Not like Danny would.

"He's lucky to have someone like you looking after him," she said.

"Yes. Yes he is," Danny smirked.

He held the car door open for her as she climbed in, and waved to Grace who was in the front seat. 

"Did you have a good weekend monkey?" He asked. 

Grace was so relaxed that she looked as though she had melted into her chair. She flashed him a bright smile. Danny smiled back. Rachel climbed into the drivers seat and waved to him.

"Bye Danno!" Grace grinned. 

"Bye Monkey. Bye Charlie. I love you very much," Danny called.

He waved at them as he watched them drive back down the street. He let out a long exhale as they went. The kids were barely out of sight before he missed them. It didn't seem fair that Rachel could have a full weekend with Grace, both together, awake, relaxed, while he spent the weekend doing errands while Charlie slept. Two days and one night was all he had with his son, and he had been asleep for almost all of it.

Not that it was his fault. Danny still appreciated the fact that he had any time at all with Charlie, but it didn't seem fair.

Danny shook that from his mind and glanced back up at the bedroom window. Steve was still there. Still sick. Still in need of his partners help, even if he wouldn't admit it. At least he didn't have to return to an empty apartment this time. 

Danny sighed at the state of the bedroom. To call it a mess would be polite. There were used tissues scattered across the bed, empty cups leaving rings on the wooden tables, and bowls cluttering the floor. Steve had buried himself underneath the covers again now. He pulled them over his head to try and keep away the light. Danny could just see rise and fall of the lump under the covers to let him know Steve was still alive. Not awake, but alive. 

He picked his way across the room carefully. He gathered the tissues and threw them into the bin as he went. Then he collected up the washing up to take it downstairs. Eddie followed him back down and sat by the back door, pointedly. Danny hummed. He glanced back up at the ceiling. Above him, Steve was still dozing. As long as the TV stayed off, Danny was confident he would have time to walk Eddie before he woke up.

First, he had to turn off the TV.

Danny found the remote on the floor this time. It had been thrown from the bed when Steve moved. He quietly picked it up, and turned off the TV. Ducktales vanished.

"I was watching that."

Danny looked down at the bed in surprise. Steve's voice was muffled by the way he had wrapped himself into a burrito, but it was firm. Stubborn. 

"With your eyes shut?" Danny asked, sarcastically. 

"I can't sleep with the TV on, you know that," Steve argued.

"I do, and I also know you also can't stay awake on these meds," Danny said.

An arm appeared and flopped down on the bed, folding back the covers enough to reveal Steve's face. He winced at the light like vampire. It was not a sexy thing to behold. He just looked offended at the sunset. It still won a bubble of affection from Danny.

"Meds don't control me," Steve declared. 

"Of course not babe," Danny scoffed.

"Put the TV back on."

"Maybe you should take more medicine."

"That stuff is disgusting Danny, I don't want it, I wanna watch Ducktales!"

Dear God he really was just a massive toddler. But Danny was as good at dealing with grumpy children. He put his hands on his hips and gave Steve his best stern look.

"First you have another spoonful of medicine and then I'll turn Ducktales back on. It's important. It will make you feel better."

Steve's squint at the light morphed into aneurysm face. He glared at Danny. Danny did not shift. He stubbornly glared back until Steve groaned.

_"Fine!"_

Danny held in a snicker as he felt a swell of victory in his chest. Steve may have been stubborn but he wasn’t an idiot. He knew when he was beat. This illness had him beat. But that didn’t mean he could give up and fight Danny instead. Even if Danny did spoon feed him a gloopy black liquid that gave off a reddish gleam at the edges like sunlight through engine oil.

The utter blissful satisfaction of watching Steve's face twist in disgust warmed Danny's heart. He chuckled warmly and reached for the remote. The ducks appeared once more. Steve shifted in order to see the screen clearer. 

"So you’re really watching this huh?" He grinned. 

"Donald Duck is a fellow naval officer Danno, we gotta stick together," Steve grunted.

Danny scoffed. "That's ridiculous, you are ridiculous, now I'm turning it off-"

" _No-o-o_ we just found out that Della's alive!" Steve whined urgently. 

He made a grab for Danny's hand with the same desperation that he had when Danny was in danger, only weaker this time. The sickness made his muscles lethargic. It amused Danny to see Mr Naval SEAL so desperate to keep watching a kids TV show, so he gave up the remote and settled on the corner of the bed beside him.

"Who’s Della?" Danny asked, amused.

"Donald's sister," Steve sniffed. 

"Huey, Dewey and Luey's mom? She's alive? Then whys Donald got em?" Danny asked in surprise. 

"Because she’s been trapped on the moon for ten years looking for gold to try and power up the broken spaceship that the moon bug keeps destroying," Steve huffed as if it were obvious. 

Danny's eyes sparkled as he bit back another laugh. Sarcasm became Steve, but this wasn't it. As deadly serious as his answer had been, Danny's was not. "Obviously. Why didn't I think of that?"

Steve grumbled to himself. He knew he was being mocked, but he didn't care. The part of his mind that would have had a witty comeback was muddled up in a fog. Other, more desperate parts of his mind were working instead. 

When Della appeared on the screen with a cheery wave like she was recording a personal message for someone important, Steve tensed. Danny frowned. Della was recording messages to send back to the triplets so they wouldn't miss her while she was missing. Steve reacted like they were meant for him. Danny glanced between the screen and the intent stare Steve watched it with. Something about that look felt darkly familiar. 

"She didn't mean to leave her kids Danno," Steve said quietly, once the show had moved on.

Danny wrinkled his nose, "I uh, I think she kind of did. She stole the spaceship and flew off - into _space,_ without permission even though she knew- she knew that they were going to hatch at any moment. It’s not uh, it's not the act of a good mother to put herself at risk like that. On some level, she knew what she was doing."

Danny shrugged breezily at the end of his comment as if that was his simple opinion on something that didn’t matter. Like he was just watching characters on a kids show. He couldn't see why Steve was suddenly so defensive. So angry. 

"She wanted a better world for them because she loved them Danny! She wanted them to be able to do things she couldn't. To live a life she couldn't. But she couldn't- she couldn’t get home. After everything she did - she cut her leg off Danno! I've seen people do that, it's horrible, but she did it to survive! She did it to survive and to keep them safe and she's so close to getting her family back!"

Danny blinked repeatedly. He wasn't entirely sure how to react to an outburst like that. The desperation in it, and the protectiveness - it was unlike anything Danny had seen from him before. Apart from when Catherine was kidnapped anyway. 

"She's your favourite huh?" Danny asked. 

"She's a pilot too," Steve added, smiling proudly.

"I thought, whatshisname was the pilot," Danny said.

"Launchpad's an idiot!" Steve spat.

Danny nodded plainly. "Yeah, I know Steve, he’s the uh, the comic relief character, he’s meant to be stupid. He’s the goof."

"He’s only there because Scrooge had to replace her when she went missing! He didn't know she was still alive Danno, he didn't know! None of them did!" Steve sat up and raised his voice, "He did all he could, but it wasn't enough, because Mars is so big and space is so wide and they searched for her Danno, they searched, but they didn't know! No one told them! _They didn’t know_!"

"Hey, hey Steve, it's okay-"

Danny's hands flew up to try and simmer Steve back down but he was getting worked up to the point that his voice cracked.

"Everything she's doing is to get back to her kids Danny... she loves her kids... Doris missed their whole lives but she didn't mean to... she didn't..."

"Doris? I thought her name was..."

Suddenly it didn't seem so funny anymore. Everything clicked into place. It all fit together and made sense in a way that sent a bolt of shame thought Danny's heart that he hadn't caught on sooner. It mattered to Steve in a way that it never could to Danny, because he recognised himself in it.

He recognised his mother in it.

Della had left to give the children a better life and by accident had ended up missing their life.  
But she wanted to be a part of it.  
She loved them from afar and never stopped trying to get back to them.  
But Della was a cartoon duck. She was not a real living woman, with real living enemies that wanted her dead. She didn't knowingly and repeatedly betray her family for her own selfish gains. She didn't lie to them, manipulate everyone they cared about into lying too, and call it protection. 

She wasn't Doris.

Danny reached out to touch Steve's arm reassuringly. In a quiet, gentle tone, he explained, "Steve. It's okay. She gets home. They welcome her home. She's safe and happy and meets all her sons and they love her. She loves them and they love her. And they're happy Steve. They end up happy."

Steve sniffed again, but given how red his eyes looked, Danny wasn’t sure it was the cold that made him do it.

"Really? You promise."

Danny nodded. "I do. But I think that you need to remember that the kids are loved - they're already loved, by everyone around them too. All three of them love each other, Donald loves them, Scrooge loves them, Launchpad - you get the picture. And the British one who turns out to be a spy, well, I don't know, maybe she loves them, I can't tell, it's very hard to get read on a brit. What I'm saying here is, sure, it’s not a normal family, but it _is_ family. They're loved even without their mom. And so are you."

Steve hung his head till his chin hit his chest. It utterly shattered Danny's heart to hear his voice break so helplessly, so desperately, so quietly when he pleaded, "promise?"

Danny squeezed his arm tightly. "I do."

"How'd you know?" Steve sniffed. 

He raised his head to meet Danny’s eye again, and Danny was faced with a choice. Either option made his chest ache and his hands clammy. He gulped as he glanced down at the bottle of medicine on the bedside table. It had made Charlie spacey. Steve said it made his mind fuzzy...

"How much of those meds did you take?" Danny asked quietly. 

Steve shrugged. "A lot. Why?"

"Maybe you won't remember this..."

"Remember what?"

Danny looked down at his lap as his heart beat hard against his ribs. If it had thumped any louder, he was sure Steve would have heard it. He took a deep and shaky breath, and looked back into Steve's bloodshot blue eyes. 

"I love you Steven."

Steve’s eyebrows rose in surprise and his jaw fell open like he had never even considered that a real possibility. A new light flashed in his eyes. A new flicker of hope that Danny hadn't seen before. 

Breathlessly he choked, "You do?"

Danny mustered up the best smile he could even though every nerve in his body was standing on end screaming at him to run. But what did it matter if he wasn’t going to remember this tomorrow?

"Yeah babe. I love you. And I mean it, I'm gonna be here for you whenever you need me," he promised. 

Steve threw himself across the bed against Danny, and wrapped his arms around him. The sudden shift in weight knocked him back. He squeezed so tightly it knocked the air out of Danny's lungs too.

"I love you too Danno."

It could have been an incredibly tender moment, if Steve had not been incredibly sick. Danny was highly aware of how much of a fever he was still running. Just hugging him soaked the sweat into his clothes.

A new rush of concern filled Danny's heart. This was not the right level of illness for a two day old cold. Even the flu didn’t knock you out like this. Not unless there was something more to it.

Finally, Steve let go and collapsed back down into his bed with a sleepy grin. His eyes stayed on Danny.

"My head hurts," he muttered. 

"That's because you're running a fever and not staying hydrated. Here. Drink this," Danny said.

He picked up the bottle of water that he had left on the bedside table for emergencies and held it out to Steve. Steve, however, had slipped back into old habits. With his mind cloudy, his flirting sucked.

"Will you kiss it better?" He grinned. 

Danny's heart ached. He wanted to, he definitely did, but he couldn’t. "Are you trying to get me sick too?"

"Will you stay with me if I do?" Steve asked hopefully. 

"I'll stay with you anyway. But Eddie needs walking first," Danny said.

Steve nodded, his eyes already beginning to close again. "I'll wait here..."

Danny watched as Steve's eyes fluttered shut and his mouth opened enough for him to breath. He was not exactly at his most handsome right now, but he wasn’t at his worst either. At least he was just ill. There was no blood. There was no hospital bed. There was no risk to his life. Just his health. Just Danny’s health too.

Danny kissed his finger tips and pressed them against Steve's scalp. He wasn't about to kiss him straight on, but this was just as good for now. _For now._

As he strolled down the beach throwing a ball for Eddie to chase down as he went, Danny's heart began to return to a reasonable rate. He began to feel the weakness in his knees and how clammy his palms were. 

He knew where he stood now. Steve loved him. He really did. It was more than just physicial, it was love. And Danny had admitted it outright. There was no going back now. 

Danny had no idea if he was delighted or terrified.


	4. Chapter 4

A hauntingly familiar sound of vomit woke Danny. If there was one thing he didn’t miss about being a beat cop, it was the vomit. Jersey was full of it.

Danny wandered into the bathroom to find Steve hauled over the toilet. His head was leaning on the arm he had laid over the toilet seat and gasping for air to recover from the strain.

Danny ran a hand over his shoulders and sat down on the floor behind him. Steve groaned hard, physically exhausted by the strain on his body, and rolled his head to look at Danny. Danny's chest ached. Even in the limited light he could see the grey tone across Steve's face.

The last time he had seen throw up like this - actually the only time he'd seen him throw up like this - was when he told him he had radiation poisoning.   
Steve had shrugged it off back then like the stoic idiot he was. Too hard, too stubborn to be seriously ill. But radiation lingered. It was slow.

Vindictive.

It was still inside of him and both of them knew it. Even though Danny had promised to keep that secret so the rest of the team wouldn't worry, and he had done so, it would have to come out now. Now that it was coming back to bite them. To bite Steve anyway.

"I'm sorry..." Steve muttered.

Danny had no idea what he was talking about, but this wasn’t the first time that he had found himself sitting on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night as someone threw up beside him. Sure, last time it had been his very pregnant wife, but that wasn't the first time either. It happened far more than it probably should have.

This space, this midnight madness, tame as it may have seemed from the outside, deepened bonds more than you'd expect. A small act of staying close to someone who felt awful, it meant everything, even if what got said was nonsense. Danny knew that. He knew how easily things got muddled and messy. So he just shook his head.

"You don’t have to be sorry."

Steve groaned again as he sat up beside the toilet. "You worked so hard on that soup."

Danny smirked. "Are you suggesting my soup put you here? Nothing to do with the radiation huh?"

Steve leaned back against the wall, opposite Danny. Their knees had to be up by their chins for the two of them to fit in the room together like this. Danny felt like he was back in the hallways of his old dorm. Hours he had spent sitting on the floor in the hallways, talking to the other students who were alsl waiting for their roommates to come back with the door keys. Right down to the fact Steve was in his shirt and underwear with vomit on his chin. Danny tilted his head as he noticed something on Steve's chest.

"It's on your shirt too," he said.

Steve looked down. The chunks on his shirt and the smell that came with it made his stomach turn again. Danny's chest softened for him. Steve reached out for the toilet paper to wipe his face clean. There was nothing he could do for the shirt.

"Come here, let's get this off."

Danny rolled onto his knees and reached for Steve's shirt. Steve groaned at the strain of having to move. He lifted his back enough for Danny to roll the bottom of his shirt out of the way. Then he lifted his arms to let Danny ease the shirt over his shoulders and off altogether. He threw it into the laundry basket to deal with it later. 

"Alright," Danny said, taking a deep breath, "are you done, or do you need me to hold your hair back?"

"Hold my hair back? Does this look long enough to hold back to you?"

Danny had to hold back his automatic reaction. Any and all flirting had to wait until Steve was healthy again so he knew that it wasn't manipulative. 

"I can get you a bowel or a bin or something if you want to go back to bed. Sleeping is really gonna help you fight whatever... whatever this is."

Whatever it was, was not what Charlie had had. Or at least it was a worse strain. Charlie had felt like throwing up a lot, but he hadn’t actually been sick. The fact Steve had been made the worry in Danny’s chest ache again. He couldn’t stand seeing him so vulnerable. 

"I'm tired Danno... I'm so tired... but my chest hurts too much to sleep. I can't breath Danny..." Steve sighed.

He was exhausted. Danny could see it just by looking at him. He reached out and linked his fingers through Steve's. 

"I'll keep you company until morning then. First, let's clean you up."

Danny helped Steve climb to his feet. He leaned heavily against the shorter man as the two of them staggered back towards the bedroom. Steve collapsed onto the bed, groaning heavily as he did. He laid flat on his back and covered his eyes with his hands. Danny gently dabbed his hair with the damp cloth to try and remove the small clumps that had splashed back into it.

Any other time Steve would have taken the mick out of Danny. He would have teased him no end for how squeamish he looked. After all they saw at crime scenes, it was a little bit of sick that him grossed out. But not now. Now he was just grateful Danny was staying close.

"I uh, I found some vaporub in the back of your cupboard," Danny said quietly. 

Steve furrowed his brow and titled his head. "You did?"

"I did. You could have told me it was there when Charlie asked for it," Danny said.

"When did I buy vaporub?" Steve wondered aloud. 

"Well that answers that question," Danny said. "Did you throw up that medicine I gave you earlier?"

Steve curled up slightly as he groaned. His stomach was still in knots and it ached when he breathed.

"I don’t know. I think I threw up everything I’ve ever eaten," he said.

"Do you think it'll stay down if you had some more?" 

"I don't know, but my throat is on fire."

Danny frowned. He reached down to collect a couple of things. "I'll be right back."

Steve whined softly as Danny stood up. His eyes tracked him as he headed for the door and vanished out of it. His footsteps wandered quietly across the house.

As familiar as this place was to Danny, it wasn't his home. He didn’t know it like Steve did. He didn't know which squeaky floorboards to avoid stepping on. Steve could track his movements through the house just by listening to those creaks. The old pipes gurgled behind the walls. A rush of water ran through them to get down to the tap. Then the creak of the loose step let him know Danny was coming back.

He rolled his head to watch he slip back into the room. Danny's eyes twinkled in the low light as he flashed him a smile. Steve's chest heaved with love. It was a simple little thing, bringing him medicine, but it meant so much to him right now. Danny perched on the edge of the bed and unscrewed the cap.

"Alright, open up."

Steve groaned as he propped himself up onto his elbows. He wrinkled his nose at the sight of the medicine, and the sickly smell turned his stomach, but he fought through it. For Danny.

"Good. Now that's over, maybe this will help you," Danny said. 

Steve's eyes adjusted through the darkness to focus on the new pot in his partners hand. He laughed when he recognised it.

"Look at you, bringing me vaporub too! You're so sweet man. I'm serious, thank you so much," Steve cooed.

Danny chuckled at him as he placed another damp towel over Steve's forehead. "I like this medicine. It makes you even goofier."

"Yeah?" Steve grinned, "I like you too."

"Good, thank you, I appreciated that. Sit back for me so I can reach your chest," he said.

Steve shifted his weight back so his shoulders were lifted and Danny could reach his full chest. He held onto his towel as he did. 

"It might be a bit cold," Danny warned.

Steve said nothing. Usual quips about cold water shock didn’t even come to him. His mind was focused on Danny. Steve’s eyes trailed across his partners face. He tracked way his eyes narrowed on the task, and the way he bit his lip as he focused. Like his mind was on other things that he didn’t want to share.

Steve could feel his fingers probing curiously around old flesh wounds too. He watched keenly for the reactions. Sometimes they won him sympathy. Sometimes people tried to mark them with extra kisses, like they were rewarding him for gaining them. Sometimes people ignored them.

Ultimately people usually separate his scars from him in some way, and Steve wasn't sure how to feel about it.

He wasn't sure how to feel about Danny's reaction either.

Danny hesitated to touch Steve's chest at first. His own heart was beating hard against his. Danny tried to hold back the desire to compare his body to Steve. It would never be like his. He hadn’t put in the ground work. Chiselled from years of hard training and surfing and whatever else Steve did for the joy of it that no normal person would think was fun, his body was gorgeous. A sight to behold. One Danny was cautious with. Gently. Slow.

Steve heaved a groan as the vapour hit him. The cooling mist stung at his eyes but he could feel it in his nose, soothing the back of his throat. He could feel it working. He closed his eyes as Danny kept rubbing circles into his chest. The relief of it eased them both.

In the low light it was hard to see any imperfections on Steve's body. They had healed over and been hidden away by time. But touch them, and he was like braille. Small scars Danny didn't know he had dotted his torso. Grazes down across his hips from near misses, and slices from knife fights that couldn't be stitched up for whatever reasons. He had callous patches where shot wounds to his protective vest over lapped and punched him repeatedly. A surgical scar across his side that matched one on Danny's had almost entirely faded, but if you knew it was there you'd feel it.

Steve had fought hard for his country, to protect and serve the people in it. It left him beaten, bruised, scarred, and sick. Danny couldn't help the stab of anger in his gut. For all the patriotism, for as proud as he was of his country and his partner for serving it, he hated what it had done to Steve. What it had cost him.

It wasn't fair.

Danny hadn't noticed his partners eyes open again. He didn’t notice the way Steve tracked his reaction. He thought he could let his mask slip to show the anger inside of him, just for a moment. The complete fury at how the world had treated Steve, and how injust it felt.

Steve's hand found it's way to Danny's wrist. His fingers curled around the edges of his palm, and he pressed his hand gently against his chest. Through it, Danny could feel Steve's heartbeat. At least that was still strong and steady and soothing. 

"Danny... I'm sorry," Steve murmured again.

Danny wished he would stop apologising. He didn't need to be sorry. Even if he did, Danny could forgive him in a heartbeat. He put on a brave face though. 

"Oh you are? That's good. Sorry for what?" Danny asked, calmly. 

Steve's hand rubbed against Danny's gently, "You mean the world to me Danny. I'm sorry I almost ruined our friendship by trying to kiss you."

Any and all thoughts Danny had had moments ago were wiped away with that. A bolt of surprise hit him so hard he momentarily forgot about the medicine. 

"What?! When did you try and kiss me?!"

"Because you looked so handsome, I couldn't resit!" Steve insisted.

"When, not why. What are you talking about?" Danny urged.

"When we were on the beach. You remember, it was hot, and it was raining but the sun was shining and there was a rainbow, and you looked so handsome when you were pointing at it... you remember! It was when Kono took over the shrimp van and she was serving grilled steaks?"

A wave of realisation washed over him and made him feel slightly foolish. Danny gave Steve a soft smile, and laid his other hand on top of the one holding his.

"I think that might have been a dream big guy."

Steve frowned. "Really? A dream? But I was so happy..."

Danny winced. He wanted to be glad that Steve was dreaming about him - not just being with him, but loving him, kissing him, calling him handsome - but the pain in Steve's eyes at the disappointment that it want real, it hurt to see. Danny eased his hand away from Steve's and moved it towards his shoulder to gently try and push him down into the bed.

"Come on, lie down. If your throat is still hot-"

"You're hot."

"You're high."

"I am!" Steve's sudden grin shone out, making the room feel brighter again. "I don't know what’s in that stuff but you shouldn’t have given any to Charlie."

"Ah he’s a tough kid, he's okay. Tougher than you anyway," Danny teased.

Steve smiled for a moment longer before he tilted his head. "Does something sound fuzzy to you?"

Danny ran a hand through Steve's hair softly. Steve's own hand caught onto it for long enough for him to brush a kiss against his palm. Danny smiled gently. He was so sweet really. Once you peeled away the Kevlar, he was so soft and vulnerable. Danny tucked him in again, and adjusted the damp towel so it was cooler on his head.

"If you get thirsty, there’s water here to cool your throat. I put a bucket down here too in case, well, yeah..."

"Thanks man you’re the best."

"It's three am, and I'm technically on call tomorrow morning so-"

"Will you stay with me? Please? Just for a bit, just till I fall asleep?"

Danny glanced towards the door. He was exhausted, really exhausted, and tomorrow he was supposed to be on call. If they caught a case when he was like this, that could cause problems. But Steve was so fragile. If Danny said no, he knew Steve wouldn't fight it, but it would hurt him again. Danny couldn't do that to him. 

"Sure."

Steve beamed. Danny climbed on top of the covers, making sure that he didn't squish Steve as he did. He rolled Steve onto one side, and wrapped his arms around him. Steve sank lower into the bed, like he could finally relax now he wasn’t alone. Danny nuzzled against his shoulder. He could feel the rise and fall of Steve's breath, which would have been reassuring if there wasn’t a rumble to it.   
Danny felt Steve's hand brush against his. He may have been shorter than Steve, but he did his best to cuddle as much of him as he could. That was the point of being the big spoon after all. To protect them. Steve was burning up though. Worse than ever now. It brought back all of the concern.

"I might call a doctor tomorrow, just in case. Whatever this is, I don't think it's what Charlie had," Danny whispered.

A chuckle rumbled through Steve. "You're so good at taking care of me. Thank you."

"You’re welcome Steve," Danny whispered.

The two of them fell quiet for a moment or two as Danny drew circles on Steve's arm. He fought the urge to close his eyes despite how heavy they felt. Despite the comfort of their embrace. Despite the warmth making him drowsy too. He couldn't stay. He needed to work tomorrow...

"Hey Danno?"

Steve's voice tugged at Danny's semi conscious mind to pull him back into being awake. 

"Yeah?" He murmured back.

"I know I said I was sorry, but I'd do it again... it was worth it."

"Do wh- what the kiss?"

"Mmm. Because I love you Danno."

Danny's eyes opened and his jaw dropped slightly. Over the years Steve had told him he loved him countless times. It came easily and readily in a way it rarely did from other people.   
But it never quite sounded like that before. 

"I love you too babe..."

Danny had never really found it in himself to say it like this either. The honesty in it was pure. He wondered why it was suddenly so easy to be so honest. Why the worry and the guilt of choosing Steve over work suddenly eased. Maybe it was because Steve was sick and he was worried about him. Or maybe it was just that the night was made for things that couldn't be said in the day.


	5. Chapter 5

Danny hadn't been told that they had a case, and given he was on call, he was the first person who would know. It was rare for O'ahu to go a whole day without needing Five-O to start tracking someone down, which meant paperwork or training for those in the palace. It at least allowed Danny to spend the day with Steve without the need to feel guilty.

At least he would have spent the whole day with Steve if the poor man hadn't have had to spent the last hour locked in the bathroom.

Danny tried to give him some kind of privacy by switching on the TV and turning it up to drown out the noise, but he was also keenly aware of Steve's headache. He didn't want to risk making that any worse. Partly because he could feel one of his own looming, and it was a really inconvenient time.  
The sound of the flushing bathroom gargled around the whole house. The pipes were old. They didn't know this was a private matter.

Danny caught Steve in the hallway, and tried to flash him a smile to ease the awkwardness. They hadn't exactly had time to talk about their conversation last night and whether or not Steve remembered it before he had to rush off. Unfortunately for him, Steve's mind was becoming unclogged and the red flush to his cheeks was embarrassment, not fever. 

"There's the big Kahuna," Danny forced a cheery smile. 

Steve frowned, "Big kahuna?"

"Are you feeling any better?" Danny continued. 

"I'm not the big kahuna Danny, only Kamekona says that," Steve said.

It wasn't just Kamekona, it was just usually him. And as embarrassing as Steve pretended to find it, deep down they both knew he adored it. Especially since this, this defensive, dismissive version of Steve who just wanted to get away from this situation, _t_ _his_ was embarrassed Steve.

"Well what do you want me to call you then, because Steve feels too impersonal for this and I’m sure as hell not calling you _sir,"_ Danny said.

"Sir?" Steve repeated, confused and irritated. "Look, Danny, you don't need to call me anything. I don’t want this to change us, I just... my head hurts so bad man. I'm going back to bed."

Steve moved towards the door, leaving Danny feeling slightly helplessly in the hallway.

"Did you drink the water I left for you?" He called.

"Yes Danno," Steve called back.

"If you need anything-"

"I need sleep."

Steve didn’t exactly slam the door, but the way he shut it was rather pointed. Danny sighed and covered his face with his hands. When they had woken up together, with Steve still in Danny's arms, it had been mildly awkward, but blissful moment. Steve had smiled at him with all the affection of a groom on his honeymoon. 

And then the cramps had started.

After that Danny didn't feel like he could push Steve into talking about anything important like his health let alone their relationship. Danny definitely preferred Steve when he was on medication. At least then he would talk to Danny. Be open and honest. Maybe a little too open, but it was better than this. He didn't want to see Steve slip back into his armoured defences. He wanted to help.

It didn't seem fair, again, that the universe had dumped this illness on Steve. He had been fine for months now, he hadn't had a single spell for ages. Danny knew that much. Over the course of his spells, he had gotten worse at hiding them. Ducking in and out of his office clutching his stomach, coming back with his gym clothes on - he'd started to bring additional clothes in his car just in case he really needed them. It didn't take him much longer after that to realise that the car was a lot futher away than he thought. Especially when he didn't want to be seen. But they had eased off. Stopped even. They were gone.

Until now.

Danny could recite the possible symptoms checklist from memory. He had spent so long researching what could happen to him, to his body, after that dirty bomb attack that the symptoms were seared into his brain.

Nausea and vomiting, diarrhoea, headache, fever, dizziness and disorientation, weakness and fatigue, hair loss, bloody vomit and stools from internal bleeding, infections, low blood pressure.

Steve definitely had most of them. Danny cursed himself for not listening to Rachel earlier. Almost all major illnesses give off the same symptoms as flu to start with. That dizziness, the fever, the headaches Steve had complained about, it might not have even been Charlie's flu. It might have been the radiation the whole time.

Or, worse, he caught the disease from Charlie, and that somehow triggered another spell.

Danny felt a stab of guilt to the gut at the idea of it. If he had known this was a possible outcome he never would have let Steve convince him to let Charlie stay. No spa weekend was worth this.

Danny thumbed his phone thoughtfully. In the back of his mind he was calculating the amount of people he knew with some form of medicinal degree that could help him. They had to keep this under wraps of course, Steve didn’t want anyone worrying, but they needed something that could help him. Steve couldn't restart his spells every time a cold went round the office. Do you know how many diseases linger at crime scenes? How many bioweapons they had to deal with? They were in and out of hospitals talking to victims all the time, if Steve wasn't allowed to get sick, their job was going to be so much harder.

Danny wasn't entire sure what to do with himself while Steve sulked in his room, and he didn't like being still and doing nothing. Not when he was as revved up as he currently was. So he started cleaning. 

Danny started in the kitchen, because that was his mess. He dumped the left over, slightly rotten ingredients for his soup, in the compost in the garden. He wasn't entirely sure why Steve had a compost bin that he rarely used, but never questioned it. It wasn’t worth the argument. Once they were out of the way, he cleaned the saucepans that he has left soaking in the sink. Each utensil he had used he scoured clean. He scrubbed at the chopping board, blasting it with hot water as he did. He cleaned everything he had made even slightly dirty until the kitchen gleamed. Then, for good measure, he mopped the floor.

Once he stepped back and breathed in the frankly overwhelming scent of detergent, his mind trailed back to last night. The laundry was still waiting for him. 

Danny wasn't squeamish by nature. He didn’t like things, especially gross things, but he could deal with them. He didn’t _like_ going into small spaces, but if it was a necessity, he could force himself to do it. Forcing himself into things he wasn't particularly fond of had become a talent. And with all the things he had cleaned out in his own laundry room - blood mostly - you wouldn't have expected him to be so unwilling to touch Steve's shirt. The vomit was on the inside now, since they had turned it inside out while removing it. Still, knowing something is there that you can't see is sometimes worse than seeing it. 

"Any chance you’re trained to do laundry too, huh, super dog?" Danny asked Eddie.

Eddie lifted his head from his paws and tilted his head at Danny. He had taken to following the man around like a shadow since Steve was busy.

"Yeah, thought not," Danny muttered.

He took a deep breath and tipped the laundry basket up to try and pour it into the machine. It needed a little extra prodding, but once it was out of the way, Danny was fine. He scooped up the rest of the washing, even the skid marked undies, which he had less of a problem with - after growing up around kids and having your own and going through a lot of nappies, things like that stop bothering you - and dumped them in too. 

Once the washing was on, the kitchen was spotless, and he had cleaned up the worst of the bathroom (something told him Steve would need it again soon and the smell of bleach wouldn't help him in any way) he wasn't sure what else to do.

Danny fixed himself a cup of coffee, turned his phone up loud in case he was needed, and stepped out onto the lanai. The wooden deckchairs out here were weathered, but hung together stubbornly. It took more than a battering from the sea and the rain to break them. Danny sat in one, ready to look out to sea and just think. He barely registered the way Eddie plodded over to settle down at his feet. It was rather nice to have a shadow.

"I know buddy. I’m worried about him too," Danny muttered. 

It was nice to have somewhere outside to sit and think too. Out in the air, with that cool breeze that took the sting out of the heat, it was easier to think. Where he could see the horizon, and the boats and the surfers, it felt quieter than inside. The salty sea air tasted different. He liked it.

Not that he liked anything _Hawaiian_ of course. He just liked the way it made him think of home. Back home in Jersey, his grandmother had a rocking chair on the porch. She used to sit in it and pretend to knit while she spied on the neighbours. Danny wasn't entirely sure what brought the memory back for him, but it gave him an idea.

"Know this place could use a rocking chair. Much easier to relax in a rocking chair with the ocean like that. Like were all moving togeth- I'm talking to a dog." 

Danny pinched his lips into a straight line as he looked down at Eddie. Eddie looked up, eagerly. His tail swished at the attention. Danny had gotten used to talking to no one but his dog and his brother after Rachel had left him. They were the only two around. Danny felt a tug of affection for his old hound. The poor thing had died in quarantine and he never even got to say goodbye...

Danny’s hand trailed down to Eddie's head. The dog rose to meet him half way. His tail beat against the wood beneath them as he was fussed. 

Steve couldn't see Danny from the window in his room because of the lanais shelter, but he heard the jingle of Eddie's dog tags. He could picture Danny absently scratching the dog behind his left ear - it had to be his left because he was scratching with his left hand to hold his coffee in his right - and sitting on the most battered chair to look out over the ocean. Steve had quietly watched Danny for long enough to pick up on his little habits.

Steve curled up around the pillow he was using for a cushion and opened an eye to look out of the window from his bed. The light made his head throb, but if he pushed the glass just a little wider, he could hear Danny talking to Eddie. It was easy to track his sounds through the house - the kitchen clattered a lot, and the washing machine whirled with a beat due to the uneven floor, and the bathroom, well, the pipes were a give away - but outside was harder. Even just below his window, where Danny had chosen to sit. The breeze carried away his voice like it was protecting his secrets. If he wanted to hear them, he had to come closer. 

"What are we gonna do Eddie? Huh? You remember last time he told us he was sick. He was very flippant about it. And he was bad, wasn't he? What would you know, you're a dog; in your opinion everyone's ruff... I'm really glad no one was around to hear that."

A soft smile curled on Steve's lips, but it hurt. More than the cramps that curdled his stomach did too. He hated upsetting Danny, but he hated being sick even more. Sickness meant weakness, and weakness was vulnerability. He couldn't be vulnerable. That cost lives.

At least it did before he left the Navy.

Now he couldn’t shake that lingering fear, and he didn’t want to burden his friends with it. Especially since the gastrointestinal cataclysms were horrible, and horribly embarrassing too. At least they weren’t in public. This time.

Eddie set his chin on Danny's knee and stared up at him, lovingly, with those huge dark eyes of his. He could sense that Danny needed his help, but deep down, Eddie didn’t feel too good either.  
Over the last weekend he had eaten a lot of soup, and garlic wasn’t exactly good for dogs.  
Not that Danny was aware of any of that. His mind was too busy focusing on Steve, as it usually was.

"Charlie had the flu, or a cold, or something easy. I know it sounds stupid, but after his HLH, I'm kind of proud of him for being able to shift it y'know? It's like, uh, like we passed a test or something, and he's finally uh, roadworthy. Not road- not _roadworthy._ Just... healthy. He's finally gonna be able to start living like a normal kid. So what, now Steve can't live like a normal adult? Why? Because what the universe gives with one hand it takes with the other... well you know what I mean don’t you Eddie? You lost your trainer for your handler and ended up here when he was killed. I guess the universe hates all cops, not just human ones."

Eddie stood up and dragged himself away from Danny. For a split second, he thought he had offended him.

"You leaving too huh? Where you going?" Danny asked him. 

Eddie did not answer. He wandered down the steps towards the bushes at the bottom of the lalani. He shuffled down into the bushes, and made a gagging sound. Both of them knew what was about to happen and Danny groaned. Eddie vomited into the dirt.

"Ah. Fantastic. You too," he sighed.

Eddie gagged again and coughed to try and dislodge the last of it from his throat. Danny gulped back his coffee and left the mug on the banister to check on Eddie. He recognised the chunks immediately.

"Who fed you this much soup?!"

His eyes flicked up onto the bedroom window accusingly. He couldn’t see Steve, but he knew he had something to do with this. Either he fed the soup to the dog or he let Charlie do it. Whatever happened, he was now completely surrounded by sickness.  
Danny knelt down and scratched Eddie's ear gently.

"Next time buddy, throw up in his shoes. Then he'll learn." 

Eddie rolled his tongue out of his mouth and panted straight into Danny's face. Typical. Steve leaned against the banister around the edge of the lalani to watch Danny stroke the dog to try and ease him. His heart warmed for the poor blonde. After all he'd been through, Steve hated that this illness could be another burden for him.

"Are you really so starved for conversation you'll talk to the dog instead of me?"

Danny looked up in surprise to see Steve standing over him. Steve flashed him a smile. To anyone else in the world, he might have looked passable for healthy. His colour was edging back into his cheeks, and he had regained control of his coughing so he hadn’t needed the medicine as much today. But that just concerned Danny more.  
What kind of person can fall to such depths of sickness and bounce back out so quickly like this? 

"Firstly, I'm not- I'm not uh... I'm not starved for conversation, just intelligent conversation which I cannot get from you," Danny shrugged.

It felt slightly mean to be sarcastic to Steve again, but the way Steve gave him that bright smile made him realise how much he'd missed it. Steve claimed Danny's outburst as love notes. Maybe it wasn’t the healthiest form of affection, but it was a form of affection. One he hadn't recieved in a while. 

"Okay," Steve said.

Danny stood up, leaving Eddie to sniff at his own vomit as though looking for the edible parts. Dogs, Steve had discovered, were gross like that. 

"Secondly, you didn't want to talk. You made that clear," Danny said.

All Steve could offer was a shrug. "I wanna talk now..."

"You shouldn’t really be outside yknow. You are still sick," Danny warned.

Steve wandered down the steps towards Danny, and grunted as he bent down to sit on one. He let out a long sigh, and turned his head to look at Danny.

"Talk to me."

Danny sighed. There was no arguing with Steve when he make up his mind. He wasn’t going to go back in until they finished talking. Danny wandered over to sit on the step beside Steve.

"What do you wanna talk about?" He asked. 

"The fact that you're scared you caused my radiation poisoning to come back as though you had any control over any of this," Steve stated.

Danny squared his shoulders back, defensively. "Okay, hold on-"

"No, no, the arrogance is endearing. Some thing's gone wrong so it must be your fault right?" Steve sneered.

There was a level of teasing to the snide tone that was supposed to pick on him. Supposed to make them feel more natural. If Steve hadn’t been sick the two of them would be ribbing at each other, constantly teasing and insulting one another playfully. It didn't work like that though. 

"It is my fault Steve-" Danny insisted. 

"Bullshit."

"Excuse me?"

"None of this is your fault Danno!" Steve insisted stubbornly, "I'm sick because I chose to defuse the dirty bomb myself, because I chose to join the navy where I was trained to do so. I then insisted that you bring Charlie here because he was sick - which I don't regret in any way - and even when you protested, I insisted. None of this is your fault. It's all on me. So chill out."

Everything in Danny wanted to argue so he pushed things around in his head until he could form anything he could use to argue.

"I could have held out longer," was all he could come up with.

"Unless you can go back in time to stop that bomb existing, there's literally nothing you could do. I was gonna get sick eventually Danny. Even if that is what brought back my spells, which it might not be, it's not your fault. No more than if I picked up a cold from the beach or something. It would always end up back here. Nothing you could say or do could stop that," Steve insisted. 

"I gave Charlie my bone marrow. I gave you my liver. There is nothing I wouldn’t do," Danny stated firmly.

Steve gave him a soft smile. "I know. You’re very dedicated. That doesn't mean you're not deluded."

"I have watched my son grow up in hospital gowns Steve. I've gone through scrub downs to be able to spend time with him," Danny sighed. His chest hurt to think back to those days. His son never looked smaller than when he was in a hospital bed. "What if I have to do the same to you? Would you even stay in a hospital? Wouldn't that drive you crazy?"

"Danny... I don’t know. I have no idea. Anything could happen, we have no way of knowing. But I know we'll get through it together, because we always do," Steve said, ernestly.

He reached across to lay a hand on Danny's bare knee. The hem of his shorts stopped just above them. Where Steve's fingers brushed against his skin, Danny's stomach flipped. But that warm smile, the soft, tender affection behind his eyes, he could melt Danny from the inside out.

"Besides, it might be nothing," Steve shrugged. 

Danny arched an eyebrow. "Nothing?"

"Alright, it might just be..." Steve waved a hand thoughtfully as he tried to think of something easier to handle, "horrible food poisoning." 

"Oh so you're saying I can't cook?" Danny huffed defensively.

"No, _no,_ I didn't say that. I helped you cook it remember?"

"So you’re saying I shouldn’t have let you cook with me?"

"Danny my head hurts my stomach aches and I don't want to argue with you," Steve whined softly.

"Good, don’t then. Agree with me instead," Danny demanded.

"Agree with what? That you’re to blame for everything that goes wrong in the world? I can't, because you’re not," Steve spat back.

Danny laid a hand on Steve's arm. He turned his shoulder enough to look him in the eyes and give him the most serious expression he could muster. 

"I want to call a doctor."

Steve groaned loudly, pulling away from Danny's touch as he did. Even so, his hand never left Steve's arm. He was clinging desperately to him as if he would slip away if he let go.

"A doctor? Why?!" He whined.

"This, whatever it is, it can't hurt to talk to a doctor about it! They can give you medicine-"

"What’s the point of taking medicine if I just throw it back up?"

"Because the build up will help you to resist-"

"There's no guarantee that they would help!"

"You're being stubborn!"

"It's my life Danny! I get to decide how to live it, and how people see me, and I _don’t_ want people to see me as this!"

"As a stubborn, pig headed, thick skulled-"

"No, as sick! As weak, and pathetic, and _disgusting!_ This, this is disgusting Danny! I am disgusting! I don’t want people to see it!"

Danny’s hand slipped away as he reeled back in surprise. Steve glanced at him like he felt he had said too much. His cheeks flushed red. He was helpless to stop them .Part of him wanted to get up and storm away, but that never ended well. He had promised Danny he would talk, he couldn’t just walk away.

But this ache in his stomach wasn't just illness. He _hated_ being ill. He hated people making a fuss. No one had bothered to when he was young, and now it felt uncomfortable. Steve was meant to be the toughest Naval officer on O'ahu. He was Kamekona's big Kahuna. He didn't get sick.

Shot, yes, tortured, sure - he was no stranger to medical wards - but just run of the mill _sick?_ Never. There was no grandeur to it. No decorum. That wasn't an ending fit for a big Kahuna. He hated the way it muddled up his mind, and the vulnerability it brought with it.

That's why he has fought through his transplant so hard.

He couldn't risk people seeing him as weak. Now he felt weak, and he knew he was sick, and he knew Danny knew it, so he couldn’t even hide it. Steve felt worse for that than for the radiation in his blood.

"You’re not disgusting Steve."

Danny's voice was low. Soft and quiet, but brimming with sympathy. All the anger that it usually had, that he wanted to hear in it, was gone. Because when you’re sick, people can't yell at you, even if they would at any other time.

That was another thing he hated. They couldn't just be normal.

"Danny I am. I just ruined my own bathroom. I cant keep food down. I’m a danger to any operation I participate in-"

"We're not in an operation Steve, we're not even in the army!" Danny pointed out. 

"Cases then!" Steve shrugged.

"Then you won't be in the field, you can still be on a case! You can work behind-" Danny was cut off by a disgusted groan.

"Desk duty?! C’mon, what makes you think _I_ can handle desk duty? I can't stand behind a computer and watch my people go into a shoot out knowing I'm not there to defend them," Steve insisted. 

"Steve. You aren’t a danger to anything but my blood pressure, and you aren't disgusting. Not to me, not to our team, not to anyone!" Danny argued.

Steve scoffed. "No offence Danny but Five-O aren't exactly a solid base to judge from. The things we see every day-" 

"Are exactly what stops us thinking you could ever be disgusting for having radiation poisoning. Which you got while protecting all of us, and the rest of Hawaii and God knows who else. From being a hero," Danny argued pointedly. 

Steve's expression changed. There was a new light that flickered into his eyes. One he tried and failed not to let grow into a smirk.

"A hero?" He repeated.

"Don't let it go to your ego, but yeah," Danny nodded, "you were being heroic. Now you're facing consequences. Bad ones. That doesn't make you disgusting, it just makes you human."

That shut Steve up. The word "hero" echoed through his mind again. Sure, plenty of people had called him that before, he had saved many lives and put himself in harms way defending the country many times, but to hear Danny say it was something else. He couldn’t help smirking at the flattery.

The soft joy in his expression made Danny feel the need to smile back. Both of them ended up laughing quietly on the steps of their lalani like old men watching the sea roll in. For a moment, a tiny, peaceful moment, nothing was different. Then it left.

"Alright, look," Danny said, through a deep breath, "I'll admit I'm scared of this. I'm scared that it's going to lead to you being sicker. That it could take you away from me. But I am not disgusted. We're going to get through this together, and if we can't, well... we'll deal with whatever gets thrown at us like we always do. Together."

Steve tilted his head at Danny, and smiled again. He reached over to lay his hand upright on Danny's knee. Danny dared to lay his hand on top of Steve's, and linked his fingers though his. Such a simple gesture made his heart beat hard. The tenderness drove him mad with questions, but they could wait.

"I can't tell you how much you mean to me Danno," Steve muttered. 

Danny smiled back, but he couldn't ignore the underlining drowsiness to his words. "You been taking that medicine again Steve?"

"My throat was dry, I couldn't breath."

"That makes sense."

"I mean it," Steve squeezed his hand tighter as if that proved himself. "I could never find the words. There's just not enough."

"You could show me," Danny muttered. His heart beat so hard it was making his head spin. Maybe he wouldn't have dared if he'd known about the medicine earlier, but Steve seemed so lucid this time, he didn't want to miss his chance. He held his nerve long enough to mumble, "Let me kiss you?"

Steve blinked in surprise. His heart thudded loudly against his ribcage. So loudly he thought Danny would hear it and worry all over again. There was nothing he wanted more than to kiss Danny. Nothing.

His heart overwhelmed his head and he edged closer, cautiously towards his partner. Danny's chest ached in anticipation... But Steve paused. His head caught up with his mind, and he held back. 

"No..."

Steve had whispered it to himself more than Danny. To stop himself. But Danny pulled back as he said it. His eyes wide and fearful. 

"No?"

"N-no, not no, just not now!" Steve insisted urgently. "I don't want to kiss you because I'll make you sick too and then who's gonna look after me?"

"You can't catch radiation poisoning Steve," Danny said plainly.

"It could still just be a cold," Steve countered stubbornly, "Then where will we be? You sick, me sicker, tucked up in bed, feeling shitty, with Kamekona looking after us-" 

"It doesn't sound too bad," Danny smiled as he imagined it.

"Watching Ducktales all day-" Steve continued.

Danny pursed his lips. "Alright, that's not great. But it's worth the risk."

"I don’t want to make you sick," Steve said firmly. 

Even though he was the one refusing, Steve still pouted at the refusal. The utter disappointment was written across his face. It hadn't been, Danny would have had a harder time forgiving him.

"Then cuddle me instead," Danny said.

He nudged up against Steve to close the gap between them. It wasn’t like him to actively ask for hugs, even if he was seeking them out, but he wanted to be closer to Steve. He wanted some form of evidence that Steve's previous advances weren't just drug induced. Steve looked hesitant for entirely different reasons.

"Are you sure I’m not too gross?" 

Danny held in a laugh. Steve looked so concerned. So nervous. It was endearing. 

"You destroy one bathroom and now you’re gross? So what?!" Danny snorted, "Steve I've seen the food you eat. Willingly I might add. _T_ _hat’s_ gross. But I’m still here."

"Nothing's gross about my food Danno!" Steve laughed back.

"We'll argue about that later. Are you hungry now though?" Danny asked. 

"I’m not sure i could keep it down. All I’ve had is that medicine, and even that's making my stomach hurt," Steve shrugged.

"Are you hungry though?" Danny repeated.

Steve hung his head slightly. He didn’t want to admit it, because he really didn’t want to run the risk of vomiting again. But part of the rumbling was definitely hunger.

"Yeah..." he muttered.

Danny nodded. He clapped Steve gently on the shoulder and rose to his feet. "I'll make you toast."

"Not soup?" Steve asked. 

"Not after what you did to Eddie," Danny said.

Steve frowned. Danny jogged up the stairs to find the kitchen. He glanced back from the doorway to watch Steve call the dog over. Eddie wriggled his head into his lap, and heaved a heavy sigh. Even he knew how to play up sickness for attention. Steve fussed over him affectionately 

"Ah I'm sorry bud. It's awful huh? I know how you feel," he cooed.

Danny smiled to himself. Steve was so full of love that it spilled over into animals all the time. Eddie was lucky. He got to savour his whole attention. Steve's bright smile shone wide enough to be seen from here. It tugged on Danny's heart strings. A bubble of concern engulfed it. 

While the bread baked slowly in the toaster, Danny tapped his fingers against his phone thoughtfully. Steve wouldn’t like it, but Danny couldn’t help the worry. He couldn't let it go, and he definitely couldn't resist the need to reach out for help. This was bigger than them. They could fight it together, but not alone. Danny glanced at the cough medicine on the counter. It was there if he needed it.

Alright, it wasn’t the best plan he'd ever had. It physically hurt to think of betraying his partner, but it was for his own good. He picked up his phone and dialled a familiar number. 

"Hey Max? Hey, I need a favour."


	6. Chapter 6

To say Danny was anxious was an understatement. He paced back and forth across the doctors office behind Steve's chair. Max had given their details over to a private specialist that had no affiliation with Five-O apart from Max. She was an expert, and she was professional. They were confident everything said in this room would not get back to their co-workers. But it had been days since they had run tests on Steve (who begrudgingly allowed them because Danny threatened him with desk duty again) and now they were waiting for the results.

"Would you sit down?! You're making me nervous!" Steve snapped finally.

"I'm making- oh _I'm_ making you nervous? Oh I'm sorry, I shouldn’t be nervous about finding out the test results that are going to affect how we live our lives for the foreseeable future, that's my bad, I don't mean to make you nervous," Danny insisted, only half sarcastically. 

Steve tilted his head to give Danny a plainly unimpressed look. "Are you done?"

Danny was not, but he dropped into the chair beside Steve with a huff. He pinned his foot down to the floor to try and stop his knee from bouncing. This wasn’t about him. He couldn't risk upsetting Steve before they even got the news.

"It's going to be okay, yknow," Steve said quietly.

Danny nodded glumly. "I know."

"I don't even feel sick anymore. It's passed. It's fine," Steve added.

"Right." Danny nodded again.

"It was probably just a cold," Steve shrugged. 

"Probably," he sighed.

"Would you tell me I’m fine?! I’m freaking out over here, I need you to tell me I’m going to be fine Danny! Am I gonna be okay?!" Steve cried.

"I don't know Steve, rule one of being a cop, don’t make promises you can't always keep!" Danny insisted.

"Wow. Wow, thank you, I feel so much better now!" Steve rolled his eyes.

"Good, if you're feeling better, you’re probably fine," Danny said.

"Probably," Steve repeated bitterly. 

"But it doesn’t matter because even if you’re not, I’m gonna be there alright? And that - _that,_ I can promise," Danny promised.

Steve licked his lips quietly and bowed his head. "Okay now I actually do feel a little better, thank you."

"Any time."

Danny reached over to pat Steve's knee as he spoke. Steve puffed out his chest to try and stop himself sighing. He couldn’t. His let his knee bounce. A moment of silence lingered between them, but it shifted from reassurance to nerve like waves crashing on the beach.

"I don’t want to spend the rest of my time in a hospital to be pumped full of poison and feeling crappy all the time..."

Hearing Steve muttering to himself sent a jolt of alarm through Danny. If he started doubting himself already there was no coming back from that.

"Huh?"

"Aunt Deb said it to me when she told me she had cancer," Steve explained, "She didn’t need want any treatment if they couldn’t operate because she didn’t want to die in a hospital... I get that."

"Don’t, don't think like that okay?" Danny urged.

Steve ignored him. "You told me all I could do was let her make her decision and support it. To make it last. Make memories. Make something that will make it easier to get through what comes next... you were right."

"Steve."

The word was heavy with warning. 

"We _have_ to talk about it Danny. As long as it's a risk we have to talk about it," Steve argued. 

"Fine, if it turns out it's an issue how are you going to tell everyone? How are you going to tell the governor? How are you going to tell the team? How are you going to tell _Charlie?_ The kid dotes on you. Like Joan. And Mary. She's already lost everyone else, all she's got left is-" Danny began, darkly.

 _"Okay, I get the picture_ ," Steve huffed. 

"See? You don’t really want to talk about it either, so why don’t we wait until the nice doctor comes in here and tells us-"

As if on cue, the door opened and a woman in a long lab coat and arms full of files came hurrying in.

"Gentlemen! I am so sorry about the wait, I was finishing some paperwork - it doesn't matter, you’re here for something more important."

The doctor wedged herself between the filing cabinet and the desk to tuck away an armful of paperwork before moving towards her seat. She tucked herself in and folded her arms on top of the desk. The woman was clearly moving at a rapid pace throughout her day, and she didn't slow now.

"The reason the cold affected you so badly is as we feared Mr McGarrett-"

"Commander," Steve interrupted.

The doctor had been midstream and had to pause to register the interruption. "I'm sorry?"

"It's Commander McGarrett. It's not important, sorry, carry on," he said, sheepishly. 

Danny frowned. Steve had worked hard and put himself through a lot to earn that title. It was important, no matter what he said. The doctor slowed slightly as she took in their expressions. Sometimes when you’re constantly surrounded by highly emotional situations, its easy to become numb to them and forget to emphasize. Steve had done it himself often enough. It was a long time since he was on this side of the table. The doctor cleared her throat as she reminded herself to be gentle.

"Right. Well, Commander... your immune system has weakened. It could be caused by the radiation poisoning, but at this point we can't be certain. Your immune system naturally deteriorates with age anyway, but it might be worse in the future. All we can really suggest is that you do your best to avoid situations of high risk contamination."

She finished with a nod and set her hands calmly on the desk, waiting for their responses. Danny glanced between her and Steve, visibly surprised that she had stopped talking already.

"That’s it? Just avoid high risk contamination?" He demanded.

"We can offer additional treatments-" she began.

"Good, then do them," Danny ordered.

She gave him a sympathetic look and warned, "But they’re fairly experimental, and expensive."

Steve and Danny shared a look as an icy breeze edged its way down their spines.

"How expensive?" Steve asked cautiously. 

"Very," she warned, "And we're fairly certain that the radiation is working as a sleeper cell. It's lying dormant inside your cells. If you get sick and your fever rises too high, it will break down those cells and free the radiation."

"So if we work to stop him getting ill? If he doesn't get a fever?" Danny asked.

"We just don’t know. Theoretically you might be able to prevent it, but this is Hawaii. A heat wave like the one we had earlier in the year-" she began.

"That didn't affect him. He was fine," Danny interrupted sharply.

There was a burning need to defend in his chest. A stubborn argument that he couldn't win. Part of him wanted to argue with the doctor as though that would make her change her diagnosis and magically cure Steve. Because he hadn't been sick in the heat wave, so he had to he able to get better, he must have!

But Steve shifted guiltily. "Actually Danny..."

The fire was extinguished like a bowl of ice had been dumped over his head. He looked up at Steve. Steve glanced away sheepishly. 

"You didn’t tell me..." Danny muttered, quietly.

Steve shrugged. "I didn’t want you to worry."

Well he was worried now. But he couldn't keep arguing. If this was worse than he had thought it was, they needed the doctor more than they expected too.

"Is there... _any_ chance he will get better?" Danny asked.

Part of him was pleading with her. Begging for even false hope at this point. Just something that would settle his nerves.

"As you both know, uranium has a half life of four and a half billion years, and since you have been exposed, it can remain in your body for the rest of your life. That being said-"

"It's controllable?" Danny asked hopefully. 

"Well, not in any real sense," she said, "We can aid the rest of your body to get healthier, but there's always going to be a low level of risk."

"Great. Fantastic. How reassuring."

Danny folded his arms and sunk down in his chair to sulk. Steve rolled his eyes as him, and shifted closer to the desk. Somehow he could keep a cooler head than Danny could. It didn't matter if he was risking his health, because it was his to risk. He had Danny to worry about that. Yet if the tables were turned, they'd be in the exact same situation, with Steve worrying and arguing like Danny and Danny apologising for his partners outbursts.

"So what’s the next step?" Steve asked.

Danny and Steve looked up at her expectantly. 

"Well I'd like to try and examine the affects on your bone marrow. We have a treatment were we can use a protein called granulocyte to stimulate growth of your white blood cells. It should help to counter effect the radiation sickness to your bone marrow which will help defend your immune system and prevent additional infections," she explained. 

"And that will stop him getting sick again?" Danny asked.

"It will give his immune system a boost back to a normal level," She nodded.

"When my son had HLH it just meant I had to donate some of my marrow to him, why can't Steve be given additional marrow to-" Danny began.

The doctor sighed, "I understand you’re eager to help Mr Williams-" 

_"Detective_ Williams," Steve corrected firmly.

Danny glanced over at Steve. His chest heaved. Steve was so quick to defend him, but he wouldn't defend himself like that.

"Um, Detective Williams, but HLH is a very different case. As far as we're aware Steve's bone marrow development hasn’t been affected, we just want to ensure the growth of those cells aren’t affected by the radiation outside of the marrow."

"Which means more tests?" Steve groaned. 

"Unfortunately, yes," she nodded.

"Fantastic," Danny muttered.

Both of them sighed, grumbling to themselves. If he had to have more tests then they had to sit in this office, feeling these nerves more and more. Their friends would notice. Being detectives, they'd figure them out. They would figure it out, and then they'd know, and then Steve wouldn't control the way the world saw him, and he'd lose the last strands of whatever the world have left him with. It took, and it took, and it took, and it left him with nothing.

It wasn't fair. It just wasn't.

Danny couldn't stay sitting in that office anymore. He murmured an apology to Steve as he left. The rage in Danny's chest sent him storming through the doors before Steve could catch up with him. He seemed to have already resigned himself to his fate. He even stopped to hold the door open for the person behind him before moving to catch up with Danny. He ran a hand around his partners shoulders affectionately. 

"You okay man?" He asked.

Danny scratched his eyebrow, like he always did when he was getting worked up, and huffed, "Am _I_ okay?! Are _you_ okay? I mean this is- this is-"

Steve laid his hands on Danny's shoulders and let them run back down to his elbows to try and reassure him.

"Danny breath," he urged.

Danny shrugged him off angrily, "I am breathing! If I wasn't I wouldn’t go here for help, that’s for sure! Useless-"

"What did you expect Danny?" Steve interrupted, "You and I both know that radiation lingers. No one can help that. Not even experts."

Danny couldn't argue with that. He had known the risks right from the start. He hated them then too. But Steve had sacrificed his own health to save countless lives, and it sucked that he was still suffering. His mind trailed back to Rachel. 

"How much money do you think that protein thing costs?" Danny asked bitterly.

Steve felt his entire chest heave. "I don't know. I fear finding out..."

"You think it's covered by the NHS?" Danny asked. 

"Danny, this is America," Steve pointed out.

"I know, but..." Danny put his hands on his hips and sighed heavily, "I've never been a stronger advocate for free healthcare than when Charlie was sick, until now."

Steve frowned. He understood the sentiment, but he felt the need to point out, "We get shot _a lot_ Danny."

"But that’s covered by insurance. Like you said, this is America," Danny countered bitterly, "a country that always supports our troops."

"Danny-"

"It's not fair Steve. I'm sorry but it's not. I don't know how I'm supposed to be okay with you being sick! You give up everything for us, for Hawaii, for everyone and then the moment you need help there's nothing anyone can do. It's taken everything else away, why does the universe need your health too?!"

Steve put his hands on his hips and opened his mouth to argue back. Then he let out a sigh instead. As much as he appreciated the way Danny swung back to their usual argumentative selves, he craved that tenderness for just a little longer. His immediate position was defensive. Aggressively so. Steve wanted something softer. He reached out to tug at Danny’s shirt.

"Come here."

Danny frowned. It took him by surprise to see Steve allow himself to look vulnerable without the aid of heavy medication. He allowed him to draw him in closer. Danny settled in close against him, and Steve wrapped his arms around him. Both of them moved so uncertainly that they ended up in a fonder embrace than either of them had expected. Steve buried his head against Danny's neck. He was tall enough to completely engulf his shorter partner. He liked the feeling of him pressed entirely against him. Especially when he hugged him back and nestled against his chest.

Steve moved his head to rest against Danny's as he fought the urge to rock them both. Danny wouldn't have been against it if he had though. 

"I appreciate you getting so worked up for me, but it's a waste of time and energy. I don't need that. I don't need anything else. I have you," Steve said quietly. 

Danny said nothing, but his weight heaved against Steve's body. The exhaustion and fear of the last few days was aching through him and now he had somewhere safe to break down, he wanted to stay here forever. Even despite the guilt stinging in his chest. It was Steve that was sick. He shouldn't be the one comforting Danny because of it.

"Aunt Deb was right, it's better to just make memories and move on quietly," Steve sighed. 

Steve felt Danny grip against his shirt, tugging at it almost desperately. He made no attempt to pull away as he spoke, so his voice was muffled by Steve's body.

"I don’t want to move on... I don’t want you to go anywhere..."

Steve just hugged him tighter. He didn't want to lose him either, but he couldn't help it. It was too late to not be exposed to radiation. He was sick, and that wasn't going to go away. But he didn’t want to be a burden. 

"What do we do now?" Danny asked.

He pulled back as he asked. He didn't want to, but it was tilting on the edge of awkwardness, and he didn’t want to force Steve through that just for his own comfort. 

"Well... I don't know. Maybe we should go home and think up a plan? I don't want anyone to find out yet, but they will eventually. Maybe we should figure out how to tell them," Steve shrugged.

Danny looked up at him. If he was sick, if it wasn't curable, maybe they should start making new memories together...

"Or uh, maybe we could-"

"Commander McGarrett, I'm glad I caught you!"

The doctor walked with purpose over towards the two of them. Danny wasn’t filled with hope to see her hurrying over, but he tried not to look annoyed at her. They couldn't really afford to alienate a specialist. 

"I meant to give you this. It's a list of food that naturally aids your immune system. If you incorporate some of them into your usual diet, that might be enough of a boost to keep fighting off things like colds without a fever."

Steve thrust one of his hands into his pocket like he really didn’t want to take that paper, and gestured towards Danny with the other.

"You can go ahead and give that to my partner. He’s the one whose going to be nagging me about them anyway, he might as well have a list," he said.

Danny felt his chest puff out as a wave of pride struck him. It felt good to know that he automatically had a role in Steve's new lifestyle. That he wasn't just helping him with it, but an active part in it. Danny was so entwined in Steve's life that it his present wasn't requested, it was expected. That made him feel important.

"If I didn’t nag you’d eat nothing but shrimp," he teased as he took the list.

"Actually shrimp has been proven to be very high in-" the doctor began.

She didn’t need to, because they were friends with a shrimp expert, and they had heard it all before.

"Not when they’re smothered in sauce and deep fried, like he eats," Danny said.

"Ah, Kamekona's?" The doctor smiled knowingly, "I'll admit I find it hard to resist that truck myself."

"Kamekona is a friend. If we don’t go to the truck, he'll come to the house," Steve explained.

"Or work," Danny added.

Steve smiled fondly at the memory of the last time he had tried to avoid the shrimp truck for a week. Chin had challenged him to a game of chess and won. Loser couldn't eat at the shrimp truck for a week. Steve figured that would be easy as long as he avoided Kamekona altogether. Three days in and Kamekona turned up to the palace with a doggy-bag to give him a free lunch in order to settle whatever differences had caused him to avoid the van. 

Food was how he showed love. Steve couldn't stop himself from accepting it.

"It's always good to have friends that are concerned about us. Maybe he can help you incorporate these foods," The doctor suggested.

"Maybe," Steve nodded.

After all, he had kept shrimp tofu stocked in the van even though the only person who ate it was Max. Steve was glancing down at the list to see what his new diet was going to consist of in order to plot how to appease his partners urge for home cooking, when Danny sneezed. Steve eyes flicked onto him.

"Bless you, Detective," the doctor smiled. She turned back towards the door of the building to head inside. "Have a nice day gentlemen.

"You okay there man? You getting sick?" Steve teased.

"That would be just my luck," Danny grumbled.

"I could nurse you like you nursed me if you are," Steve teased. 

"Not if we want to keep you away from germs," Danny argued.

"I’ve already had and defeated those germs. And I owe you-"

"You don’t owe me anything. And I’m not taking that cough syrup. Its like truth serum."

Steve's smile faded. Alarm lit his eyes as he asked, "Was it? Don’t say that- What'd I say?"

Danny's stomach flipped. If he didn't know what he had said, maybe he didn’t know what Danny had said. Suddenly the courage drained from him. 

"Nothing."

Steve's eyes narrowed as Danny blinked innocently at him. Steve had known him long enough to know when he was lying.

"Danny, I'm serious, I have a lot of confidential information in my head-"

"Which is still confidential. You’re a regular fort Knox. The state thanks you."

Steve frowned. Danny shifted his attention onto the page in front of him. None of the words made their way into his head though. He was too busy thinking about whether he should tell Steve what they had said. What he had said. What he felt...

"I really didn't say anything?" He asked.

"Nothing that made sense. Nothing helpful either because you're a real pain the ass," Danny shrugged. 

Steve frowned harder. Even though his memories were cloudy he could have sworn he remembered telling him the truth. Finally confessing what was in his heart. He remembered it because it felt like sunshine was exploding inside of him to hear Danny say it back. And he had asked him to kiss him. Steve was certain of it. Danny had wanted to kiss. 

That couldn’t have been a dream. It just couldn't have.

But if it was, then he couldn't ask Danny to put his whole life on hold for him, just because he was sick. If it wasn't love keeping him around, he didn't want it to be duty. Or worse, guilt.

"Am I? Because, yknow, this thing is only going to get worse. It's not going to get any easier, and you’ve got the kids to prioritize, so... um..."

It hurt. Even just trying to find the words hurt. It was the right thing to do, to offer Danny an out, no strings attached, no guilt, nothing. A clean break away, if he wanted it. But God he hoped he didn’t want it.

"What's wrong Steve?" Danny asked, concerned. 

Steve gulped. The words burst out of him before he could stop them. "I want to give you the chance to back out."

Danny blinked in surprise. He didn’t look grateful at the opportunity, like Steve had feared he would. If anything, he looked offended.

"Back out?" He repeated.

Steve nodded hesitantly. "This is going to be demanding and disgusting and brutal and... I just don’t want you to get overwhelmed and then only stick around because you feel too guilty to leave. I don’t want your pity-"

"Good because you’re not going to get it," Danny interrupted sharply.

It was Steve's turn to blink in surprise. "I'm not?"

"I don't pity you Steve," Danny spat, like he was disgusted that Steve could even think that little of him. "I'm not going to back out of helping you look after yourself just because its going to be _hard._ The day I met you I punched you in the face Steve. Dealing with you healthy is fucking hard but we got through that. you think I’m giving up and walking away now?! No chance. I care about you too much to not see this through. _Ba_ _cking out?!_ That’s really how you see me?"

Steve's heart was too busy doing somersaults for his head to catch up with how annoyed Danny sounded.

"You care about me huh?" He smiled.

Danny huffed. He didn't want to admit it if Steve was going to grin at him like that. The cockiness of it made him roll his eyes. 

"Sometimes. Often enough to stick around," he admitted reluctantly. 

Steve grinned. The light in Danny's eyes gave him away. It hadn't been a dream. He had really said it. Now Steve knew it.

"You can't lie to me, I know you love me, you said so!" He smirked.

Danny froze. His eyes widened like he had been caught red handed. His heart skipped a beat as his palms turned clammy.

"I thought you wouldn’t remember that," he muttered.

"Well I did," Steve grinned as he took a step closer towards Danny, who was rooted to the ground and couldn’t move, "Because I love you too."

Danny's head dropped forward in disbelief. "What now?"

"Danny..." Steve's hands trailed across Danny's fingers so he could link them together, "I mean it. I’ve been in love with you for years. Ever since North Korea. Nothing you say will change that. But-" his little finger that had been curling around Danny's slipped back hesitantly as he added, "I don't want you to feel pressured into anything. If I'm wrong, if I've misjudged- Just say the word, and we can go back to pretending this never happened."

Danny's heart was beating again but it was beating like it was trying to keep pace with a heavy rock anthem. It had a bassline that could rival Queen's. But he also had mischief in his eyes.

"We can can we?" He asked. 

Steve swallowed. His gaze fell towards his shoes as he forced himself to nod. "If you want to yeah. I don't want to lose what we already have over something that might not even happen. You mean-"

"The world to you?" Danny offered. 

Steve frowned. He glanced up at Danny, his mouth open in confusion. That was exactly what had been going through his head, but he wasn't sure how Danny could have known that. 

Danny’s eyes twinkled. "I know. You told me."

"I did? When?" Steve frowned. 

Danny bit back a grin but he couldn’t hold back the way it lit up his face. "You don't remember? We were at the beach. It was hot. There was a rainbow. I looked handsome. Kono was there. She was serving grilled stakes out of Kamekona's shrimp van. You really don't remember?"

There was a long pause as Danny grinned expectantly and Steve frowned, utterly baffled.

"I feel like I've missed something here," he said.

Danny laughed and nodded. He reached up to fix Steve's collar playfully. Steve's hands moved towards Danny's waist but he held himself back uncertainly. He let his arms swing back down to his side instead. Danny's hand moved from Steve's collar round to the back of his neck, and pulled him down. Steve moved with him, allowing him to take control. 

"I'm serious, I have no idea what you’re talking-"

Danny's hand tangled with Steve's hair as his lips pushed against Steve's. The shock of the collision took his breath away. His mind stopped working entirely for a minute as it buffered. By that point Danny pulled back to watch the way Steve's shocked expression melted into a delighted one. 

This was real.

This wasn't drugs or manipulation.

This was Steve.

He wanted Danny, and he wanted him even if the world took away everything else he had. How could Danny deny him that wish, when all he wanted was Steve to have everything he wished for? Steve's mind finally caught up with hi enough for him to find words but it was still processing what had happened.

"So Kono works for Kamekona now huh?" He choked. 

A flash of concern lit Danny's face for a moment. It quickly melted into an affectionate chuckle. Steve was having a little trouble processing, but Danny was sure he could help him speed that up.

"I'll tell you all about it on the way," he promised. 

"On the way where?" Steve frowned.

"I'm taking you home. We need to you back to bed," Danny said plainly.

"Back to bed?" Steve frowned, "But I’m not sick anymore."

Danny's hands curled back round to his collar and down his chest. His eyes sparkled as he whispered in a low voice, "I know."

"Oh... oh! _Oh!"_

Steve's eyes lit up as the rest of his mind caught up and his heart began to function again. Danny slipped his hand into Steve's and lead him back towards the car.

"So just to be clear, because I haven't actually said it yet," Steve said as he climbed into the drivers seat of Danny’s car. He turned to Danny and waited for him to plug in his seatbelt and meet his eye to say, "I love you Danny Williams."

Danny grinned. He leaned across the gearbox and stole another long and lingering kiss from Steve. 

When he pulled back he said, "I love you too Steve. Now drive us home and let me prove it."

Steve's heart wasn’t the only thing that fluttered as he revved the engine. 

"Yes sir."


End file.
